#how to manage. and some part of it always lies just beyond their ability to control

[chaos-of-the-abyss]

very very fond of the idea of ever-shifting alien eyes among the descendants of melian, especially common in the earliest generations (e.g. luthien and dior). eyes that resemble drops of dew or a starlit night sky. case in point:

for luthien and dior, this is a frequent occurrence, and something they can sometimes... not quite control, but curb. for later generations like elured, elurin, and elwing; elrond and elros; and elladan, elrohir, and arwen, it becomes increasingly involuntary and only happens in times of extreme emotion

[ssunphire]

Blue by Billie Eilish and how it fits Azula perfectly

I'm sure people have talked about this already, but i just wanted to add my two cents to it. (english is not my first language so if i phrase some stuff a bit weird feel free to ask or correct me)

spoilers for the comic "Azula in the spirit temple" !!

in my opinion the lyrics of this song simply SCREAM azula, and here's why.

the first chorus:

azula tries to "live in black and white", as in pretends to know what is right and what is wrong. she believes in her father's words, the "white", and considers everyone who left her or dishonors the fire nation bad, "the black". but it doesn't feel right, even to her. even if it seemed like she thought that what her father did to zuko was right, the perfect reality that she dreamed of that was depicted in the comics shows zuko without a scar and her mother standing beside her father. even iroh is there with them despite her displaying dislike towards him throughout the whole show. additionally, they tell her things she thinks she should have achieved based on the values that her father posed on her, again: the "white". she misses them and she feels betrayed, but she tries her hardest to pretend like it's not like that, for example in the beach episode where she says her mother was right to call her a monster and that she's completely okay with that. she's in fact not over her mother. she feels "blue". stuck between believing her father and at the same time wanting ursa and zuko back.

the second chorus:

the phrase "but i'm not what you need" shows her insecurities. she saw the way ursa looked at her compared to how she looked at zuko. no matter what she did, ursa never seemed to be satisfied with her. she always got sent away or chastised. iroh never cared to consider what she might like as a gift, he just got her a doll because he probably thought it's what all girls want. but zuko got a really nice knife. she felt unneeded by ursa and iroh so she turned to her father.

now the verses.

1)

by logic, zuko and azula should be similar in ambitions and beliefs. they grew up in the same family after all and therefore also should have been treated similarly. for example they should both receive their mother's love and attention, but only zuko seemed to get it. zuko should have similar abilities to hers, but she was always ahead of him. she didn't understand what ursa saw in zuko that she didn't have and "lied".

in the comics azula states that she actually became aware of the fact that ozai used her as a "deadly fire bending weapon". she was a "bird in a cage". she didn't have anyone to rely on but the father that praised her skills, so she tried her best for him after being abandoned by her mother. she wanted to be protected too, but ultimately only zuko got that luxury.

2)

like i said before, since azula didn't have a support system like zuko, she didn't have a choice but to cling onto ozai. ozai clearly never knew what sympathy was, nor did he ever act like an actual father. he raised azula to be cold and deadly, so much so that she was even smarter with war strategy than him or iroh. she managed to take over ba sing se after all. azula herself lacked sympathy too. she had learned that trust was weakness and being feared was strength.

3)

here i can see the first part being said by zuko, he doesn't hate azula and he knows she did what she did because of their father but at the same time he was scared of her. at the point of the series he deemed her to be beyond saving and tried to avoid her together with iroh, then later chose to fight her in an agni kai without even trying to reason with her.

the other half of this part is pretty much self explanatory. she was clearly a victim who succumbed to her father's ideals due to being abandoned by her mother.

4)

unlike zuko, azula was "blameless" in the eyes of fire nation ideals. she was a prodigy and did what was expected of her. perfection was everything to her.

nonetheless they are both victims of ozai, just with different outcomes. they both grew up to be famous, just in different ways.

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woooo you made it to the end!!! thank you to whoever read my little rant here, i just wanted to talk about this since i've been thinking about it every time i listen to the song. i'd love to hear other people's opinion on this so feel free to comment whether you agree or you think what i wrote up is absolute bullshit lmfao

[wesleysniperking]

Usopp and Conqueror’s Haki | part 3 (TL;DR)

previously

Resilience

Usopp may have hit rock bottom at one point, but he managed to bounce back from that as well. He survived Boin Archipelago, a man-eating island, and although in the Syrup Village arc he failed to convince the villagers that Kuro was a fake he still had the resolve to protect the villagers (the same people who wanted to attack him).

Heck, when the Franky family jumped/beat him up TWO times, he still came back and fought after the first time, and still tried getting up and fight.

When Sugar and Trebol got him the first time, he still had the resolve to help Luffy so Sugar wouldn’t turn Luffy into a toy (and a lot of people were after Usopp because Doflamingo placed such a hefty bounty on his head), so it was definitely risky.

Intuition

Easy. When he fought Perona, and defeated Sugar. He knew where to get ‘em. He figured it out. From Perona’s astral projections (and apparent fear of cockroaches) and Sugar’s fear of his face, he knocked them both out. Heck, Intuition was the facet of him unlocking Observation haki.

Then there’s the whole “his lies always come true” thing. That takes some great intuition. He was able to get the gist that someone was after Sanji based on Sanji’s bounty (leading up to the WCI events). And then there’s when he told everyone during the Buster Call at Enies Lobby to get on the Going Merry (and Zoro was against it and it seemed so absurd to get on a broken ship), and the Going Merry saved the crew. Because if he hadn’t kept her (and fought Luffy), she would’ve never come to save them (and he took the utmost care of the Going Merry).

Visionary

Heck, this was from the jump. Even back in Syrup Village (I honestly think that’s what encouraged the Romance Dawn Trio to recruit him). He had that trio of little boys following him around and he always expressed wanting to become a brave warrior of the sea like his father and a true pirate. Again, this is where he becomes a good storyteller and talks things into existence. From big fish poop (Little Garden) that's the size of an island to a beautiful swordswoman with meat (Rebecca back in Dressrosa), his lies come true.

Even back in Little Garden, he was inspired by the giants and wanted to furthermore become/resemble their image of what being a brave warrior was all about.

Then back in Onigashima, when those swordsman/samuari were wanting to surrender to their fate and not keep fighting. But Usopp was disgusted by that, and he gave a speech that further brought home his vision; his dream.

This even goes back to Boin, when he opted to lose weight and have Heracles’ train him because he wanted to become The King of Shooters.

Must be born with it

So, this just kinda makes me more speculative than anything. Some even say this trait is somewhat disputable. This is one thing on the list overall that brings me to a halt. In all fairness we don’t know how far Yasopp’s haki abilities go (he could quite possibly 5% of a chance have conquerors…but I’m not betting on…it?). AND we don’t know much about Usopp’s lineage that goes way beyond his dad. But this is kind of something you have to justify with or without research or evidence.

Moving On...

Yes, yes. Oda is quoted saying that Usopp will always be the “weakest” crew member…so? I’m not looking for Usopp to be this overpowered nut, and honestly, I love him the way he is. No doubt about it. But Conqueror’s Haki would be a cool add-on narratively and symbolically. Since I’m always comparing Usopp to King David (David and Goliath), I’m pretty sure David would have had conqueror’s haki; he was known as the warrior king too!

Conclusion

Either way, it’s just a funny thing to entertain. Conqueror’s Haki and Usopp in the same sentence didn’t feel right at first, but now it’s starting to.

I remember somewhere (it was Worstgen), where this person was discussing Usopp fighting Luffy in order to keep (or to obtain) the Going Merry, and they said if that’s not big d*ck energy then they don’t know what is. It literally made me LOL ‘cause that person’s perception of Conqueror’s Haki was soooo simple and crude. But I’m not judgin’. Anywho, I don’t think my words are an entirely accurate take on what Conqueror's Haki EXACTLY is, but it’s what I’ve commonly come across, and is still quite a mystery to the OP fandom and the world itself.

Off Subject or P.S.

A little off subject, but if we want to give a bit more perspective, some people even believe that the “Arlong Boys” will get conquerors haki (which includes Luffy, Zoro, Usopp, and Sanji).

Then fans even go off of the basis of Zoro, Sanji, and Usopp being the only ones who’ve fought their captain (Whiskey Peak, Water 7, and Whole Cake Island), AND even harming a celestial dragon (Sanji kicked the crap out of one, Zoro threatened one and was even willing to k!ll them, and Usopp accidentally fell on top of one who was about to hurt some innocent people AND it was the one with the most superiority in that vicinity).

Ah, this makes me so giddy just thinking about it. But seriously, Usopp getting Conqueror’s Haki would work well narratively. It would give the message of how even those seen as weak can truly be a conqueror.

A good evolution to Usopp’s growth.

A good ending point.

So, thank you for your time. This concludes my Ted Talks.

Part 1

Part 2

[miasmaghoul]

Favorite headcanon for every ghoul! Go!

Two each, one horny and one not!

Aether

Was deeply affected by Terzo's deposition, and as a result developed a distrust of the higher-ups in the church. Sister Imperator bears the brunt of his ire. He's very protective of Copia, and his retirement was predicated on the fact that it's become obvious that he won't be Papa much longer. He can't go through that pain again.

Huge into mindfuckery. Will use his magick to manipulate his partners in many ways, some much worse than others. You'd never guess it with his sweet demeanor, but just beneath the surface lies a truly depraved individual.

Dew

Never felt comfortable as a water ghoul, so when he was presented with the opportunity to transition to fire instead he leapt at the chance. It was incredibly hard on him, but he doesn't remember much besides the pain afterwards. Once it passed, he finally felt like he was settled in his skin. Like things were finally right.

He and Aether are deeply, incomparably connected. He's not sure how it happened, or when, but it's true. Dew would do anything for Aether, and Aether for him. They push each other's boundaries behind closed doors, far beyond anything they do with the rest of the pack. The few times Dew has had to call mayday have been with Aether. He only remembers one of them - Aether made sure of it.

Rain

Fascinated by human death. Has the highest body count of all the ghouls, uses his vessel's natural charm and good looks to his advantage in that regard. Lures siblings to the lake, the woods, the mountains, whatever he's in the mood for that day. Likes to play with his food, never makes it easy on them. Lives for the moment the light fades from his prey's eyes. Has an arrangement with Sister in regards to who and how often he hunts.

The most willing to experiment when it comes to kink, has the fewest hard limits of the ghouls. Basically down to try anything twice, and has helped awaken myriad kinks in the others. His favorite partner, though, is himself. He's a narcissist through and through, no one can get Rain off like Rain can.

Swiss

Two words: shadow magick. I hc him as a fire/earth hybrid, but he carries just enough quintessence within him to manipulate shadows. To melt into them and hide in plain sight. Swiss knows many things he shouldn't because of this. Thankfully he's very good at keeping secrets.

Has a different dynamic with everyone, and holds the title of switchiest ghoul. However, it's very, very hard for him to be truly submissive. He'll follow instruction, to be sure, but he always maintains some modicum of control over himself. The only ones who have managed to get Swiss into subspace are Aether and Cirrus, and he required a LOT of aftercare.

Mountain

I am a huge proponent of Mountain being able to grow things on his body. Flowers and other small plants, nothing major. Will grow fresh herbs on his head when he cooks, and if he sleeps really well he'll wake up patchy with moss and lichen. Has a plant associated with each member of his pack, and before he got a solid hold on his magick it was very easy to tell who he was thinking about by what sprouted up around his horns. He can control it for the most part now, but in moments of emotional intensity he sometimes loses his ability to keep it in check.

The subbiest. You wouldn't know it to look at him, but literally anyone can dom Mountain. He especially loves it when the smallest ghouls put him in his place. If he's in a more dominant role, it's because his partner requested it. He just wants them to be happy, to please them. Whatever it takes.

Aeon

He's not as new as people think, summoned before the beginning of the Imperatour and living in the lower levels of the abbey with the other service ghouls. Ended up becoming Aether's lead tech in short order, thanks to being a quintessence hybrid. His other element is fire, which made it hard for him to get close with Dew at first. They get there eventually.

Has a crazy intense breeding kink, and it goes both ways. The first time he takes a knot is accidental, and it really awakens something in him.

Cirrus

Has moderate OCD, which manifests itself in excessive organization and strict scheduling. This proves to be a huge asset when it comes to planning tours, Cirrus spending a lot of her time with Copia and Sister Imperator to help put together itineraries and book hotels. She also organizes the chore sheets for the ghouls, making sure everyone is put where they fit best.

Has a very hard time climaxing, even on her own. It takes a lot of work and focus, so she doesn't really try most of the time. She gains the most pleasure from working her partners over, from providing whatever it is they need to reach that peak. Defaults to hard dom, but is somewhat flexible.

Cumulus

Has what I affectionately call grandma hobbies. She crochets, knits, does cross stitch, puts together jigsaw puzzles and bakes with regularity. Has tons of creative energy and needs outlets for it. Also leads the abbey's choir. (Cirrus plays the organ.)

Obsessed with having her tits played with. Always wants them touched, kissed, licked and sucked on. It's her favorite, and few things get her wetter. One time Dew made her cum just by toying with her nipples, and it took her by such surprise that she cried.

Sunshine

ADHD personified, always full of energy and going a thousand miles an hour. She has more control over it than she lets on, but the others enjoy her playfulness and lack of inhibitions.

Huge exhibitionist, it's nearly impossible to keep her clothed. She'll be shirtless any time she's outside, basking in her namesake. Her pants most always follow, and more often then not she can be found naked as the day she was summoned up on the abbey's roof. Loves to fuck outside so she can be as loud and feral as she likes.

Aurora

Makes jewelry for the others - matching lockets for Cirrus and Cumulus, a fine silver ring patterned after fish scales for Rain, a bronze ear cuff decorated with small leaves for Mountain, a corded crystal pendant for Sunshine, a set of jewled horn charms for Swiss. She's proudest, though, of the simple pair of thin sterling chains she made for Dew and Aether. They wear them always.

ENORMOUS size queen. She's the tiniest now, even smaller than Dew, but the first cock she took was Mountain's. Cirrus had to buy a new toy for her strap just to please Aurora's insatiable need to be stretched. It's never enough.

[luctumvigilantes]

Atris and Craig were close, that much was certain by the simplest of observations. Their time together had been long, as long as Atris had been within the walls of the Necropolis and closer still after the Priest's own brush with death itself when much younger. The two had learned of each other, had adjusted, had become knowledgeable of quirks and motions and what they meant - - the bond betwixt them was strong and thus it allowed Atris a connection to what he otherwise couldn't see or feel - - through his companion. An immensely valuable asset.

"My thoughts were much the same." Some variety of malign spirit, or perhaps one of which had altered beyond its normal means without yet turning to violence or harm. One couldn't be sure without investigation and though Atris had not seen anything while looking when he paced past originally, he had felt something wrong, something off balance.

"Some of the wards near to the chambers beneath have fragmented of late - I have patched them to the best of my ability -- we have been waiting for a senior watcher to aid but with disturbances appearing in all variety of spaces in the necropolis, the wait yet continues." Thus he blames that in part, but it cannot be helped; where one ward is cast, another falters - such was the constant of the city of their beloved dead. "--- and the majority of my superiors are simply too busy."

It was what it was, and they had to adapt to it as best they could - there was simply no other way. With every week, Atris learned more and more, his chosen position one that dangled the offerings of many secrets before him, always just out of his reach. Ever did he work harder to reach those goals, and with such pushing came knowledge. Mayhap, in time, he'd be able to repair those wards himself. He could but hope - make a mental note to look into it, whether it was something he was capable of- but for now he needed to remain on track.

"Aye - - Vorgoth and I are due a little catch up with regards to another matter, anyway. I'm sure it can easily be mentioned." Atris hadn't managed to get to the upper levels in some few days with thanks to an influx of need of his aid and attention, thus other such matters had to be pushed to a back-burner. For now.

Booted feet begin to follow company downward, a hand reaching out to light the veilfire brazier 'pon the wall as they went, allowing for illumination other than that belonging to the friendly wisp nigh clung to the back of the Priest's shoulder. It's wary, or so Atris' judges by chosen movement - near shielding itself behind his person - and that alone has the male feeling somewhat uncertain. What has frightened the wisp so-? What is of such concern that it chooses to intelligently hide?

"Do you feel that-?" He pipes up through the thickness of silence and darkness alike; "It feels... almost akin to a crushing sense of loneliness." One he was familiar with, albeit on a more personal and secretive level; but it was not one attached to him or his past experiences but one that hung in the air. It was new, had appeared since he had partially ascended the steps to find his present company.

"How curious--- that they flock to a solid wall." He'd seen it ere he had left, the room he had been in previously only now off to one side while the gathering of some fifteen wisps or so seemed to gather and slink close to the aforementioned wall. There was a terrible feeling attached to it, one that Atris could neither define nor identify, all he knew was that he didn't like it in the slightest. "No room lies behind it, but some few internments do - but not directly. There is a small family mausoleum a smite further back - - mayhap they seek something there? It has been sealed entirely for longer than I can recall, however."

what an insightful young watcher, to take note of such things — to be attuned to the whims of a spirit. for all the years she had wandered these halls, she had seen many come & go, students & scholars alike, but few ever stopped. few ever truly saw. dust would settle, rust would return, & the unrelenting march of time would erase even the faintest traces of their passage before she encountered another who thought to listen to the whispers of the wisps.

“ were they ? ” her voice slips into the air like silk, head tilting ever so slightly as she regards him. she believes him. & perhaps that is what concerns her most.

belief, after all, is a thing she roots in what she sees. in the threads that weave through the fade, in the fractures where magic splinters & spills like light through broken glass — these are the things she understands. wisps were insistent. flickering at the edges — playful, persistent, brimming with energy. & yet, here they stood at the precipice of a puzzling contradiction. to not want interference ?

still, her question is not meant to be answered.

she moves past him, her steps near soundless as she reaches the first stone step. fingers find the wall & trail along its rough, time-worn surface as if the texture itself might reveal what she seeks beneath her fingertips. the stone is uneven, cracked by the inexorable passage of years, but a reliable guide.

“ i will offer what i can, then. ” she cannot refute the watcher’s logic. caution is a virtue, & in matters of uncertainty, it is wise to seek the counsel of those who have tread these paths before. a senior watcher or a professor among their ranks. but she does not claim to be either.

it does not, however, make her any less capable.

“ perhaps there is a malign spirit among them. the wards have been … unreliable, at best. ” the thought settles in her chest like lead, pressed against her ribs with disquiet. her lips draw into a thin line as she descended, the staircase swallowing her in its depths as caliginous shadows stretched long in the flickering glow of the wisps that hover around.

it is here, she imagines, that they had intended to lead her all along. before her path had crossed with the watcher. before his words had cast an undercurrent of presentiment into the air & affirmed her concerns.

“ when we finish, you should seek out myrna. or vorgoth. ” her voice remains steady even as her mind churns. “ inform them of this. should it happen again, they must be made aware. ”

[balaroo]

Why did Bakugou see Deku as worthless?

Short answer: He didn’t.

“But doesn’t ‘Deku’ literally mean useless?! Of course Bakugou thought he was a quirkless loser!” I hear you cry but please give my rushed analysis a chance and see if I can convince you of something real quick.

This is mainly focusing on their relationship in the earlier manga but there will be references to newer chapters so spoilers if you’re not caught up!

I’m going to go in a vaguely chronological order and remind you of these panels:

So the first part of this with Bakugou already starting to pick on Deku happens before his quirk manifested and even longer before he finds out Deku is quirkless. It makes me think of when Deku said Bakugou only 'started down a bad path' once he got his quirk but it looks like he was being a little shit before even that.

Why does this fit into it at all, doesn’t this just confirm Bakugou has always seen him as a loser? Well, yes and no. With Bakugou having a squadron of children he thought were lower himself that followed him around everywhere, why did he only ever pick on Deku?

That’s something I’ll come back to soon but a few more moments I wanted to remind you of along these same lines are:

When he learns Deku is applying to UA

In middle school, Deku’s classmates finding out that the quirkless kid applying to the prestigious hero school is hilarious and they think that there’s no way he can get in. But the one person who does take is seriously is Bakugou.

He claims it’s because he wants to be the only person from their school to make it to UA but by saying this isn’t he admitting that on some level he thinks Deku has a chance to get in, even without a quirk?

When he sees Deku has a quirk

Now, up until this point, Bakugou has apparently accepted Deku actually is in UA, even without a quirk. In fact, he’s more shocked to learn that Deku does have one but lied to him about it (which only reinforced the belief Deku was intentionally trying to undermine him) and leads me right back to the point that Bakugou absolutely believed Deku made it to UA with no quirk.

He never saw Deku as worthless because he didn't have a quirk, there was something else at play, hence the meta.

Just to hammer that in further, something interesting I remember from the earlier chapters is Bakugou constantly referring to Deku as ‘a pebble in my path’

That specifically made me wonder why would someone who’s always seen everyone else as ‘extras’ and even went out of his way to remind his teacher ‘don’t lump me in with these losers’ refer to a kid he’s deemed to be useless as having any effect on his path to becoming a hero? It just doesn’t add up.

Though we get a lot of closer looks at Bakugou's pride and it's downfall after All Might loses his power, the reason as to why Bakugou was always so quick to hate on Deku is pretty ambiguous until we get to the newer chapters (spoilers for 285+ beyond this point) and we get this amazing piece of insight into Bakugou’s character:

‘I ignored my own weaknesses so I ended up bullying him.' Not only is he speaking candidly about how messed up his relationship with Deku used to be but he's admitting that he cares about him.

It’s by no means a rousing declaration of guilt but it does put the blame entirely on Bakugou himself which was honestly very refreshing to see. People aren’t black and white, not every mean character has a tragic backstory to explain their actions.

Bakugou may have just been a kid with way too many expectations put on him but that gives no excuse for what he did and he knows that and then he decides to make it right which is why his character is so interesting.

So why would Bakugou pick on Deku in the first place? It’s because he was scared of him.

Deku didn't believe that just because someone has a strong quirk means they should be treated like they're invincible (hence the famous river scene) and he treated Bakugou as he would anyone else which terrified Bakugou.

Bakugou is meant to be a strong hero with a powerful quirk but here's this kid who's quirkless, and so by society's standards should be weak and feeble, showing much more strength and tenacity than he should. It goes against the narrative of the world they live in and Bakugou is worried it'll effect how he's meant to be a hero.

Deku excels in every way that Bakugou hasn’t been able to. He’s kind but never hesitates to stand up for what he believes in, he has the uncanny ability to analyse villains and heroes alike in a way that allowed him to beat Bakugou in their training exercise, and to top it all off he has a strength of will that is honestly just scary.

Poetically, it’s only once Bakugou accepts that Deku has always been stronger than him in this way and they start their ‘Save to win, win to save’ dynamic does he manage to overcome those obstacles and start on the path to becoming a more rounded and stronger hero, as well as atoning for what he’s done.

He’s never going to stop being foul-mouthed or aggressive because that’s part of who he is, but he is a much better person than he was at the beginning of the manga. Saying he isn’t is blatantly disregarding so much of the story and just very, very incorrect.

Whether or not he'll outright say “I’m Sorry.” To Deku has yet to be seen but this route feels a lot more genuine to be quite honest. Not to mention, if he did confront Deku with it the most likely outcome would be Deku saying he’s already forgiven because it’s true but Bakugou wants to earn that forgiveness which is so much better.

Seeing how far their relationship has come since that realisation has been amazing and I can only hope we get to see even more development between the two of them.

This was just meant to focus on how Bakugou never saw Deku as worthless but I’ve already gone off topic. I could write essays on this pair’s dynamic but it’s already long enough so I think I’ll leave it here.

I would love to hear other people’s thoughts on it and thank you very much if you read this far!

[eirikaanemo]

"Still, the winds change direction. Someday, they will blow towards a brighter future... Take my blessings and live leisurely from this day onward"

– Vayuda Turquoise Gemstone

Venti granting his crush a vision. In canon, anemo users are hardworking people with strong beliefs, but also those who need a break.

bonus: morax gives a geo vision to venti's s/o, making venti kinda jealous. 'hello, celestia tech support? i need to grant this one person a second vision, yeah its vital, wait don't hang up"

Good Enough

Venti x Visionless!GN!Reader

1.3k Words

Warning: gossiping (about you), self-worth insecurities

You've never had a vision, and that's never bothered you before. A vision isn't necessary to kick butt. You’re of two minds about the situation. Part of you is proud to have come so far without needing to rely on a vision. Another part of you, shoved to the back of your mind, feels very insecure about it all. Why don’t you have a vision?

As a knight of favonius you’ve spent a lot of time honing your combat skills. Hours and hours of your time are invested in improving your accuracy, strength, reaction time, and improvisation ability. You have to be the best of the best to keep up with everyone else. The fact that you rarely see those with visions training is shoved into the back of your mind. Surely they just train elsewhere.

However, the back of your mind is also where your insecurities lie. So shoving the thought back there only compounded the problem. They’re just better than you, your mind whispers. They don’t need to practice to be powerful. They don’t have to put in effort to be good enough.

All your hard work pays off. You’re the highest ranked knight that doesn’t have a vision. And you’re still climbing up the ranks. However, it’s been made very clear that the next promotion opportunity will likely not be available to you.

“Captain deputies are assigned to their departments based on vision type.” The knight had claimed, carefully avoiding eye contact with you. “Make sure that you hone your elemental abilities as best you can. Only the best are chosen for this position.”

While they had tried to be tactful, you could feel the eyes of your colleagues on you. You could hear their whispers behind your back for the rest of the day. “Do they really think they have a chance?” They whisper. “It’s a miracle they made it this far. I wonder how they even managed to make it this far.”

You try not to let it bother you. You can’t show weakness, so you go about the rest of your day with your usual expression pasted on your face. Everything is normal, you say silently. Nothing is wrong. It’s not like you wanted that promotion anyway.

Most people buy your soundless lies or simply allow you the dignity of not confronting you about it. Everything goes okay. Until you run into Venti, that is.

The two of you have been together for a while now. He’s always been a big supporter of your passion to do your best and climb through the ranks. Even times where he doesn’t see you for a week straight don’t budge his support a bit. You make as much time for him as you can, but he understands the kind of time commitment you’ve made and is willing to wait as long as you need.

And being someone who often puts up a facade himself, he notices something is wrong immediately. “Is everything okay?” He asks you gently as the two of you sit in a corner at Angel’s Share. “You seem pretty down tonight. Did something happen?”

You sit quietly for a moment, pondering how to respond. Chancing a look at him, he sends you a serene and patient smile. Venti is willing to wait as long as you need. The thought helps your nervousness a lot.

After another couple moments of thought you respond. “No, I’m not really okay,” you admit. “It was heavily implied today that in order for me to move further up the ranks I need a vision.”

He tries to keep his face neutral, the last thing you need right now is pity; but a small frown still slips onto his face. “That’s rather discriminatory,” he notes. “If you want I could bring it up with Jean. The knights aren’t supposed to discriminate like that.”

You shake your head. How Venti, a seemingly normal bard, has influence with Acting Grandmaster Jean is beyond you; but you would never want to take advantage of it.

“No, I’ll be okay,” you reply. “I’m sure they will eventually see the error of their ways. But- well, nevermind.” Your face falls as your insecurities creep forward as you remember the whispers.

“But…” he prompts you to continue.

“But it just seems like everything would be a lot easier if I had a vision.” You confide. “The extra firepower really helps on missions. There’s a kind of respect you gain when you have one. And, to be honest, people with visions are a lot more efficient.”

“You sound like you wish you had a vision,” he notes.

“That’s because I do,” you admit. A feeling of shame washes over you. How could you say that? So many people look up to you as an example of what a regular person can do. How could you just throw that all away?

“I thought you didn’t want a vision,” Venti pointed out, confused.

“I can see why you’d think that. Part of me is proud of how far I’ve come as I am and getting a vision sometimes feels like I’d be taking the easy way out. But that’s not to say I don’t want one. I’ve wanted a vision for the longest time,” you admit. “It just feels like I’m not allowed to want it.”

He hums in understanding. “I think,” he starts thoughtfully. “I think it’s okay to want what you want. Getting a vision isn’t easy, you really have to prove yourself. But you also have to be open to receiving one. Who knows? Maybe you will get one and can use the extra opportunities it grants you to open more opportunities for others who don’t have visions.”

You nod. “Yeah, I think I’d like that. A way to stay true to my roots while still being able to grow in a way I’m not able to right now. But you’d think I’d already have a vision by now if I was going to get one, you know? I hear what people say about me. Maybe they’re right. Maybe I’m just not good enough.”

Venti carefully sets his drink down on the table and turns to face you. He seems sad and almost guilty. “Do you really think you’re not good enough because you don’t have a vision?” He inquires softly. You blink, surprised at the question.

“Sometimes,” you confess.

He pulls you into a hug and moves to whisper in your ear. “You are good enough, vision or not. Whether some archon has acknowledged you or not doesn’t matter. A vision isn’t necessary to prove self-worth. You are good enough just as you are, please never doubt that. You are precious and loved and special because you are you. Vision or no vision, that will never change.”

You melt into his hug and bury your face into his shoulder. “Thanks, Venti,” you whisper. “I really needed to hear that.”

Your partner proceeded to spend the rest of the night cheering you up. He told stupid jokes and sang stupid love songs. All of his attention was on you. He didn’t even finish his drink. It was a special night that you know you will never forget.

And if you woke up the next morning to an anemo vision on your bedside table and beamed your way through the rest of the morning. If you proudly displayed in on your belt like your partner does, and held your head a little taller than usual; well, that’s your business.

And if Captain Kaeya took one look at you with your new vision, laughed, and said, “Well, it’s about time! I was starting to wonder if the archons had gone blind!” Well, your smile might have been just that much brighter.

You followed through with the idea Venti suggested, making it easier for those without visions to rise in ranks as long as they put in the work. And it felt good. But you knew deep inside, that the vision didn’t define you.

Your life continued as before, with the only change being how you trained- not how often you trained. People still looked up to you. You were still an inspiration to them. Life was good.

And yes, you got the promotion.

[sillydreamer]

Meet my OC (Heather)

Okay guys this isn’t a request or headcanons but I wanted to share something with you ;)

As you can see with the title i’mm going to show you an Elarya OC so here’s Heather (be nice to her ;D)

She’s from the obsidian guard and in a random story that I’m making she’s Valkyon’s girlfriend. Heather doesn’t replace Erika-Gardienne in the plot and her story is quite long so I’m going to divide it in parts, the first one being a small context of these story, the second part being her backstory before she ended up in the guard, a little explanation of her personality and then a behind the scenes (you will know what I mean when you reach that part). 

Name: Heather

Gender: She/her

Birth day: 28 of June (Cancer ♋️)

Age: 24 in the origins, 32-33 in a new era.

Species: Werewolf (Hyrbid of dragon)

Height: 1.82 cm

Guard: Obsidian guard

MBTI: ESTP-ESTJ

Familiar: Natch (Male molecat)

Li: Valkyon

Primal role: Since she belongs to obsidian guard Heather knows how to fight and uses this to protect others, also makes good plans and sometimes helps Valkyon when he needs it. She’s good with children and loves to show them anything that can be useful; form fighting skills to show them legends of Eldarya.

Secondary role: Heather worked in the library and as a teacher, the first job is to know more information about the dragons and their return while the second job was more “oficial”. Since they needed teachers Heather decided to sign in for that.

Weapon: She learned how to use an axe as a primal weapon and a sword as her second option (but I didn’t find an axe so she appears with the second one)

Abilities:

Strength

Quick learner

Social

Knowledge of mysterious things

Good listener

Disadvantages:

Sometimes selfish

Kind of naive

Ignores things 

Context:

You can see that she has some weird marks on her neck and face right? Well, they are a characteristic for her clan.

She lived in Sheni, a lost village that was far away from the lands of el, it was a close village that didn’t accept strangers very well, the villagers being mostly werewolves or night creatures. A quick note is that there were vampires in there, but they weren’t pure blood, this is going to be important later.

This village had a closed mind and follow a single philosphy; they believed that the dragons were coming back and this will mean the reborn of Eldarya, a new era that will change everything.

Her clan followed this with hearth but decided to give a little push to this “prophecy” and they ended up learning dark magic  this situation got a little bit out of hand for them. The thing here is that this dark magic can be passed through bloodline and one of Heather’s ancestors was a great dark-magic user and this make that its descendants inherit that ability.

But why did they believe this? Apparently she had a dragon ancestor that told them to wait for their return, this happened because, when the dragons saw that their whole specie will disappear some of them reproduced with normal faeries, hoping that they offspring could protect Eldarya from future danger. And this didn’t end up well because we know that the guard of el and other faeries hunted these descendants trying to save the crystal but this was unknown for them.

Heather has a few of these dragon powers but since they got extinct a long time ago and they weren’t any pure dragon to teach her how to use these powers they are kind of useless, that and the fact that a lot of generations had been passing and the dragon-blood is less and less each time.

Still she can transform into a dragon but then Heather needs to rest for a long time (one time she slept for a week or so) and she can use blue fire that can be a characteristic of fox people but in this case is because of dark magic.

Speaking again about dark creepy stuff, the marks on her body are prove of this, since her family has been using this for a long time it became part of them. They can hide it if they want but Heather is used to have them visible. 

Inside of the clan they have a “chosen one” or a “selected by the spirits” which is a member of her family that is born with more of this dark magic and it’s function is to keep their communication with the deceased, sometimes speaking with the daemons. Heather isn’t the selected but her younger sister is. There have been a lot of “chosen ones” through her family, almost like a legacy.

Do you remember what I said about vampires? Well, it’s not that they hate them, is just that they have very different points of view and they crash a lot. An example is with the vampires of Yaqut (yes, Karenn and Nevra’s clan). These two villages are a few days of distance (maybe some weeks) but decided to ignore each other to the point that they aren’t sure if the other village is alive or not, Yaqut hates halfbloods and the few ones that managed to escape moved to Sheni, giving them knowledge about other dark things.

Despite her being an hybrid of dragon-werewolf and perhaps vampire (I mean, it’s possible and these people are weird) her predominant specie is werewolf, which means that Heather has the habilitiess that a normal werewolf has. As example; shapeshfting into wolves, super strength, a great stamina, almost night vision, great smelling, others. 

Small detail; she has fangs because some werewolves develop them.

Another detail; by some reason her village has a nocturnal life and sleep during the day to work at night. This is because they use the moon cycle and the starts to guide themselves and is the reason why Heather’s skin is pale; she hadn’t been that exposed to the sun. (My baby needs sunbaths please)

Backstory:

Heather’s father is the leader of the clan which allowed her to have almost what she wanted. She wasn’t the heir of the clan, that was her older brother, Duncan. By the other side her younger sister Moon (I know that I don’t have creativity putting names but what can I do?) was the “chosen one” of the clan which means that she had other responsibilities such as developing her magic to her limit.

Even if she didn’t have a mission like her siblings she had enough determination to be useful and decided to be her brother’s right hand when he became the leader of the clan, that’s why se started worrying about others and their needs.

Heather’s mother was gone, she doesn’t remember her well and her father used to say that she died when Moon was born and burried in the forest.

Heather was a happy girl and loved to explore the forest with her siblings, they were warned about other creatures outside of their small village and told them to hide whenever something weird happened, always telling them to be disguised and don’t let anybody see them.

One day Moon walked away and was lost in the forest, Heather and Duncan panicked and returned to the village to ask for help. When the adults finally found Moon she was missing her left eye, but Moon didn’t say what happened and she only had a deep blue eye and the other one being white with a scar.

When they started growing up the relationship between Heather and Moon started changing. Moon was quiet and spent a lot of time in the forest, exploring and developing her magic in secret, meanwhile their grandmother was trying to train her.

While Moon was being a rebel gal Heather and his brother Duncan continued with their training to become leader and right hand. He was compromised with a girl of their age to ensure the bloodline even if they were just 14. Heather had a talent manipulating the fire that the dark magic provided her and learned how to use an axe and a sword as weapons.

Duncan an her grew very closely while the relationship with Moon was more distant with time. One day Moon went to the forest alone as usual but this time she never came back.

At first her family wasn’t worried, she used to leave and return a lot of times but the time passed by and the people of the clan got nervous. The werewolves searched through all of the territory but when they found out that Moon’s track continued deep to the forest and beyond the limits that the clan had the panic started.

The winter was coming and this forced the villagers to stop with the search. They needed Moon because she was an important piece for the dragon’s prophecy, they needed her because she would tell them what to do and this caused more frustration in the people.

Heather was devoted to her family and decided to search for her sister by her own, she understood the importance of Moon and wanted to bring her back. Her father allowed her to go when the winter ended but it lasted a few months more.

Once it was over Heather packed up and began to search, finding information about a werewolf with a missing eye and a deep-blue look in the other.

As she was told Heather kept the secret of her clan, only saying that her sister ran away from home and she was searching for her. 

After months of looking and searching Heather was in a bar and heard rumors of a mysterious werewolf that helped a guy for being crushed by some rocks. The man telling the story was the father of that child and he said to his friends that he would be eternally grateful with the guard of el.

Following that hint Heather was able to find the location of it. It had been two years since Moon left home and Heather really missed her, decided to try her luck she entered in the shelter under the identity of a lost villager.

Heather ended up finding Moon and her sister was surprised that someone was able to find her. The older one tried to convince Moon to return back home but her sister didn’t listen. 

At the end Heather joined the guard to spend more time with her and at the end, make whatever she needs to do to convince Moon to return back home.

Personality:

She’s kind, yeah she is.

I know that she grew up in a group that told her that she was important because of the dragon-blood but that group also showed her that being that mythical creature meant that she was there to help others, but the world wasn’t prepared for this.

She doesn’t talk about her home though, she tries to keep it as a secret because that’s what they had taught her. But living outside showed her that the world wasn’t that cruel and she ended up enjoying the experience of meeting new people and chatting with them.

It’s a social butterfly and responsable girl, the friend that can go out to party but return home to finish homework on time.

Daddy’s girl, of course she is.

Behind the scenes:

Heather is based in another OC from an original story that I’m planning to write (but I’m dumb and procrastinate 99.99%of the time)

Her appearance doesn’t change much between these two versions, she has small purple tips in the hair in the original version.

In the original story she has another sister but in this universe Heather only has two siblings.

This idea started as a joke like “Okay what would happen if I mix up her with Valkyon” (because they looked cute) and here we are, me creating a whole story with her.

In the original story she used to have a boyfriend with tanned skin and white hair mostly because I have a thing for them, let me be please.

I simp for her, expect to see more of Heather over here.

[hualianff]

Meta AU

Thinking about an AU where roughly half of the human population are born with special abilities. Historically, those who were blessed with such powers–referred to as metahumans, or meta for short–reigned over those who did not. Metahumans resided at the top of social ladders, maintained influential positions in government, ran the most successful corporate businesses, and dominated all aspects of society.

Only within the last three hundred years has there been significant progress in uprooting the hierarchical systems. At least, enough to protect regular humans from enslavement, perpetual poverty, and exposure to meta-against-meta violence. Furthermore, the most recent war involving multiple meta-lead tyrannies wiped out more than three-fourths of the existing metahuman population.

One century later, metas are now the minority among regular humans. Their powers are still seen as dangerous and other-worldly. Horrendous myths and anecdotes have bred skepticism and contempt, but the ludicrous chaos of rampant, uncontrolled beasts have been left behind in history books.

Regardless, the newer generation of metas typically doesn’t go around flaunting their powers in public for the risk of judgment and surveillance. Though they are required to register their abilities as soon as they develop through extensive government documentation. Even something as harmless as distinguishing lies from truths or shapeshifting could be used for corrupt reasons depending on the person.

In general, metas kept to themselves in the shadows.

Twenty-four-year-old HC has been putting up with other peoples’ shit his entire life. First, his shitty parents; his mother who neglected and abandoned him; his father who loathed and abused him. Second, his cursed power which physically manifested where others could see.

HC’s power resides in his unmatching eyes–one black, one red–and relies on eye contact. His left “normal-colored” eye can sift through peoples’ memories pertaining to the questions he asks. His right discolored eye puts people in their worst nightmare or lived experience. Once they beg for mercy, an act of submission, HC can manipulate them into doing whatever he says.

Growing up, before HC came of age where metas exhibited hints of their powers, people couldn’t bear to look at his mismatched eyes—especially his father. HC’s father banked on having a child with a beneficial ability for greedy purposes, but all he saw in his son was a useless, abnormal freak.

In addition to covering a sight that provoked others, HC wrapped his head and right eye in bandages due to his fathers’ beatings because of his “ugly” and “deformed” appearance.

Through his adolescence, HC came to fit the cold and intimidating persona people expected of him. Even if he didn’t feel like a monster, HC forced himself to become one. He endured extensive bullying, rumors like he’s out to gouge out someone’s right eye to replace his own, and avoidance overall from others.

Consequently, HC doesn’t look people in the eye. Not only due to the fact they don’t spare him a second glance but also because he’s aware of just how lethal eye contact can be.

Every day, HC spent hours learning how to control his power by looking at himself in the mirror–which he despised doing. He had to train his emotions, his mental images, and cultivate his energy core in order to wield his power with intention.

After finally having enough, HC stirs up the courage to kill his father at the age of sixteen. He packs up the little belongings that are worth taking with him and the small amount of money his father saved up for drinking and gambling.

HC moves to the big city to make a scarce living. He uses a patch to cover his red eye while he uses his left eye’s power to his advantage, working various jobs and gaining as much knowledge as possible. After two years of fending for his own, HC decides on a whim to apply for university—using his vast amount of street skills and blackmail to get in.

There, HC meets a few people who aren’t turned away by his reputation and actually want to befriend him. They seem to be misfits themselves, so he gradually comes to accept them as...acquaintances.

(HC, HX, YSH, and YY best friends agenda.)

HC was always at the top of his classes, using his learned skill to retain endless facts—which he claims to be his power to hide his true ability. Things seem to be going well until one of his classmates and their group of privileged snobs who come from rich families (definitely got some strings pulled to get into the university) targets HC in his senior year. They manage to rip his eyepatch off in a surprise attack.

HC feels utterly violated, a part of him that he hates so much exposed against his will. The power he worked endlessly to conceal flared beyond his control. He ends up killing every single one of the students who cower under his gaze.

The whole event makes national headlines, the display of raw power rocking the public’s perception of metas for the worse. HC, now considered a huge threat, is promptly sentenced to a facility reserved for S-ranked metas, working to contain his powers.

It’s here that he meets a few other patients sentenced to the same fate as him, including Xie Lian.

XL’s superpower is reading people’s emotions and energy by touch. He has also honed healing abilities through special training he had access to, being born into an elite family. However, if XL puts enough hatred into his touch, he can harm and even kill with one simple pat.

He wears a pair of white, leather gloves at all times. 

Unfortunately, when an unexplainable plague broke out that resulted in many deaths and lasting consequences, all answers pointed back to XL, who had been hosting an enormous charity event for his family—directly shaking hands and coming into contact with everyone affected by the plague. XL went through an invasive process of investigation and was also scrutinized by the distraught public.

At this time, XL lost a lot of self-worth about himself as a person with these powers. All the years of training to control them seemed to fly out of the window, and it didn’t feel safe to even go outside to the grocery shop.

In the middle of XL’s sophomore year in university, one year after the outbreak, he admitted himself into the institution that hosts dangerous individuals to protect others from another possible tragedy.

One week in, he is subjected to secret horrific experimentation by the head of the facility himself.

All patients are.

When HC arrives at the facility, XL has already been a patient for ten years.

[odanurr87]

My thoughts on... Hotel del Luna

From left to right: Pyo Ji-hoon as Ji Hyun-joong; Yeo Jin-goo as Gu Chan-sung; Lee Ji-eun (IU) as Jang Man-wol; Bae Hae-seon as Choi Seo-hee; and Shin Jung-keun as Kim Sun-bi.

Released in 2019, Hotel del Luna was my introduction to the works of the Hong sisters as well as actors Yeo Jin-goo and Lee Ji-eun (IU), and what an introduction it was! The first episode of the show was excellent, giving us a hint of Man-wol’s tragic past that left me wanting to know more, then moving forwards in time to reenact that scene from Beauty and the Beast where Belle’s father is caught trying to steal a rose from Beast’s garden to give to Belle, and finally reaching present day as Man-wol tries to recruit Chan-sung and introduces him, and us, to this world of gods, ghosts, and souls with lingering grudges, that reminded me of the wondrous world of Harry Potter. Everything clicked for me in this episode, from the beautiful cinematography and music to the strong performances, particularly IU’s as Man-wol who knocked it out of the park and, incidentally, has a most impressive wardrobe and an uncanny ability to look amazing in every single one of her outfits. This was a highly promising start for my next modern fantasy show after Goblin and I couldn’t wait for the next episode. But what is this show about and why should you watch it?

Plot synopsis

21 years ago, Gu Chang-sung’s father cut a deal with the beautiful and mysterious owner of Hotel del Luna, Jang Man-wol, so that she would save his life in exchange for his son. Regretting the deal afterwards, the father left the country with his son hoping to spare him his fate. Believing himself to be safe, Gu Chan-sung has returned to work as assistant manager in one of Korea’s top hotels but Jang Man-wol is intent on collecting on the old debt by having him work in her hotel instead. However, Hotel del Luna is not your typical establishment, as Gu Chan-sung soon finds out, providing a service for souls who need healing or have grudges left to settle before moving on. While initially afraid of the prospect of becoming assistant manager at a hotel that serves ghosts, Gu Chan-sung finds himself intrigued by the challenge and curious about the story of the beautiful owner who runs it.

A magical atmosphere

Stepping into the world of Hotel del Luna feels like taking the train at Platform Nine and Three-Quarters and attending Hogwarts. In fact, our intrepid hero, Gu Chan-sung, also receives a magical letter welcoming him as Hotel del Luna’s new manager, and while there’s nothing magical about the subway that takes him there Jang Man-wol does use a little magic to ensure their first encounter goes undisturbed. The hotel itself reminded me of Hogwarts, not because it is filled with ghosts and can only be found by them (and the very much alive and fearful human manager), but because of the feeling of perpetual wonder knowing that behind every door lies a new magical mystery waiting to be discovered, be it a room only people who are alive can enter but not exit, the sky lounge, a swimming pool that is actually a beach in some undetermined plane of existence, or a beautiful garden with a magical tree that holds one of the hotel’s biggest secrets. Of course, one should not forget CEO Jang Man-wol (if one wishes to live) who, while certainly a very different character from Albus Dumbledore in terms of personality, always knows more than she’s letting on and is usually in control of any situation, even if the outcome isn’t always the one she anticipates. There is also the wonderful supporting cast in the form of the different incarnations of the deity Ma Go-sin (played by Seo Yi-sook, who looks like she’s having a blast playing the different sides of the goddess), a reserved but diligent Grim Reaper (played by Kang Hong-suk), and the welcoming staff of the hotel, represented by the trio of Kim Sum-bi (the bartender), Choi Seo-hee (the room manager), and Ji Hyun-joong (the hotel receptionist).

In the same way we cannot divorce Harry Potter from its music, given its distinct signature by that legend that is John Williams, I cannot forego mentioning Hotel del Luna’s mysterious, magical, and ethereal, instrumental soundtrack. Let me take you on a brief musical tour, shall I? Let’s start by taking subway line 4 and going to Hotel del Luna. The receptionist seems to be asleep so why don’t we let ourselves in? Wow, looks like the hotel’s throwing a party, apparently they’re welcoming human guests for the first time in years and the staff is particularly excited about it. That explains how we managed to get in (remember, this is not really a hotel for living, breathing, people). I can see that the bartender is busy receiving food orders and members of the staff are decorating the hall with real flowers. Hey, where’s that kid sneaking off to? Let’s follow him. Oh, that’s the Samdocheon Tunnel, which marks the boundary between this life and the afterlife. The Grim Reaper and the manager are there to bid farewell to one of the hotel’s guests. Apparently, there’s a bridge beyond the tunnel that takes 49 days to cross! I’m not eager to cross it just yet so let’s return to the hotel. Wait, why is there water everywhere? Looks like a water god managed to get past the receptionist (not that difficult when he’s asleep) and the CEO isn’t very happy about it. Yup, she definitely doesn’t look happy. We’d better make our exit before she figures out we shouldn’t be here.

To complement this excellent instrumental soundtrack, my favourite among all the kdramas I’ve watched to date, there’s an amazing selection of songs by artists like Red Velvet, TAEYEON, Heize, Punch, Chung Ha, and Paul Kim, among many others. IU herself sings an absolutely beautiful song that plays in one of the most highly-anticipated scenes of the show but which, sadly, has not been released. However, just as important as having a great soundtrack is using it well. If you’ve read my reviews of Angel’s Last Mission: Love or Strong Woman Do-Bong Soon, you should have an idea of how much I value using the right music at the right time to convey or accentuate the proper emotions during dramatic, comedic, or romantic scenes. Correct music usage can lead to your soundtrack being memorable, whereas incorrect music usage will surely render it forgettable. Fortunately for us, Hotel del Luna knows precisely when to use its music and how. It knows when levity is called for and when it’s not, when to highlight the wondrous side of magic and when to show its darker side, when to use Heize’s “Can You See My Heart” or Punch’s “Done For Me.” I believe it was John Williams, when talking about the music of the original Star Wars trilogy, who said that he wanted the score to tell the story of what was going on in the screen. I believe Hotel del Luna’s score achieves this feat.

Another aspect that contributes to the magical atmosphere of the show is, without a doubt, its incredible cinematography (from camera angles, through its beautiful use of lighting and colours) which, combined with its excellent score, can create scenes that are best defined as poetry in motion. I particularly liked how it favoured studio sets for shooting many of its scenes, giving the sensation that we’re watching a superb play that encourages us to send our imagination into overdrive. Even some of the more noticeable VFX work, like the city view from the hotel’s sky lounge plays into the notion that one cannot always tell what’s real and what’s fake in Hotel del Luna, as Man-wol warns Chan-sung that the view from the sky lounge is not from this world, but the fall will kill him just the same (Man-wol being Man-wol). Because I’m not knowledgeable enough to explain the show’s cinematography in technical terms, I’ll leave you with a trailer that captures some aspects of it and, luckily, also showcases Jang Man-wol’s incredible selection of dresses.

A part of a greater whole

In my review of Bring it on, Ghost I mentioned the show followed a certain formula that is often poorly executed in Western shows. There is a main story-arc that encompasses the whole of the show and there are side stories where our protagonists confront the “ghost of the week.” One of the strengths of Bring it on, Ghost lied in how these side stories would sometimes tie into the main story or would be used to expand on a character’s backstory so that they rarely came across as filler. Hotel del Luna executes the same formula with a lot more thought and care, often laying out the groundwork for events later down the episode, what is expected, or even later down the show, what is a bit more impressive. The Hong sisters remain true to their initially-stated intention throughout the show and reinforce this with the aid of these side stories, preparing both Gu Chan-sung and us for the inevitable dénouement of the show. Let me try to illustrate my point by way of an example. I don’t want to give more for fear of completely spoiling the show for you.

Episode 5 tells the story of a ghost bride whose parents want to give a soul wedding so she will be able to peacefully pass into the afterlife. Unfortunately, the chosen partner for this soul wedding ends up being Gu Chan-sung’s best friend, Sanchez, so while Man-wol goes shopping as Audrey Hepburn with the parents’ black card (our girl has very expensive tastes), Gu Chan-sung tries to figure out a way to spare his terrified friend. After some twists and turns, what is often the case with this show as the truth is not always what it seems, it is revealed that it is actually the groom’s parents who want to marry off the bride so she’ll let go of their son, who’s in a coma. For those who’ve watched Bring it on, Ghost, the parallels with the ghost side story from Episode 10 are fairly evident, as the ghost bride needs to find the strength to let go of the person she loves and she ultimately does so in one of the most beautifully composed scenes of the show. This is one of those “poetry in motion” scenes I was talking about. As the groom runs away in shock and fear, the bride gathers the courage to cut the red string of fate tying them together, under the intent gazes of Gu Chan-sung, dressed as the groom, and Jan Man-wol, dressed as a bride (in red).

You need a stronger will to let go than to hold on.

This scene is a portent of events yet to come, when the day finally arrives where Chan-sung and Man-wol will also have to part ways. Indeed, several episodes later, the room manager will remind Gu Chan-sung of the words Goddess Ma Go-sin then told the ghost bride, “You need a stronger will to let go than to hold on.” The bride’s selfless act of letting go of the person she loves, breaking free from her earthly tether of her own volition, can be seen as a challenge to Man-wol, whose hatred for the man who betrayed her has been her sole drive for the past 1,300 years but also a curse that has bounded her to the hotel and prevented her from dying. Could she, like the bride, unburden herself by letting go of her hatred? Is it possible for someone with such a long and deep resentment to simply let go? This is a recurring question throughout the show and one that puts her at odds with her increasing desire to protect Gu Chan-sung, as she fears her actions, born of her hatred for the people who wronged her, might end up harming the man she loves.

Side stories such as this one often give us further insight into Man-wol, whether it be a glimpse of her past or challenging her beliefs, making her question herself and her actions, however briefly.

A fairy tale romance

Man-wol is a tsundere character, both a Beauty and a Beast, who has been nursing a thousand-year-old grudge against the people who betrayed her and consequently filters every human interaction through a lens of cold cynicism, expecting the worst from people. Chan-sung on the other hand, is a proper gentleman, a type of character we don’t often see in kdramas and a natural consequence of his training as a hotel manager. He’s friendly, cultured, well-mannered, kind, clever, and someone who's very much in control of his emotions most of the time. The evolution of the relationship between these two characters is the centrepiece of Hotel del Luna, a breath of fresh air in a landscape that often feels the need to use love triangles, or other polygons, as a shortcut to properly fleshing out the relationship between two characters. While there are elements of a love triangle present, such as expressions of jealousy for the sake of comedy, Hotel del Luna chooses to forego this trope and commit fully to the main characters’ fairy tale-like romance.

When you tell her you’ve been dreaming about her.

Another trope the Hong sisters mostly dispense with is that of misunderstandings, which are kept to a bare minimum, as Man-wol and Chan-sung are very open with each other regarding their thoughts and feelings, although Man-wol is, understandably, less transparent about her feelings in the beginning. It was incredibly refreshing to witness two characters that could guess each other’s thoughts and were willing to have an open and honest conversation about it rather than to hold back for the sake of drama. Of course, this did become somewhat frustrating for Man-wol (and fun for us) when Chan-sung started gaining more confidence, feeling at ease with Man-wol, and rebuking her selfish or materialistic actions. Their playful banter and bickering throughout the show is, to my mind, a clear indication that they’re comfortable with each other, as strong a sign of the chemistry in their relationship as half a dozen kisses, if not a better one, what is a good thing because those are few and far between. On the other hand, it makes those moments much more valuable and meaningful. The love between Man-wol and Chan-sung comes across in the gestures they make, in their facial expressions, in the words spoken and left unsaid. When Man-wol tries to comfort Chan-sung but doesn’t know how (Video), when she confesses she wants him to stay with her till the end and they share an intimate hug (Video), when Chan-sung breaks down and cries at the thought of not being able to see Man-wol ever again (Video), when the two have a conversation on the balcony under the moonlight (Video)... These are a precious few examples of the beauty, strength, and depth of feeling, of their relationship.

When the adult catches you in a lie.

While Man-wol is not the same ruthless person she was at the beginning of the show as she is at the end, she still retains some elements or traits of her personality throughout the show (there’s still a little tsun in her dere), as it should be. In one episode Chan-sung is remarking upon how much nicer she has become and she replies, “Gu Chan-sung, you’ve made leaves and flowers grow and have changed me a lot. But you won’t be able to change my core personality. Don’t even expect that.” Even as she says this you can see her looking a little uneasy about something, a little girl about to be caught in a lie by the adult who’s trying to keep her out of trouble. It is thanks to Gu Chan-sung’s patient and enduring love, that protected her from the worst aspects of her own self, that Man-wol is able to let go of her anger, both literally and metaphorically. But Man-wol also deserves praise, as she reciprocates Chan-sung’s love and equally tries to protect him from the dangers of this new world he has entered but most of all from herself, to the point she is willing to renounce her revenge and extinguish her existence to ensure she can never harm the man she loves.

Conclusion

It should be evident by now that I absolutely love this show and it is, without a doubt, my favourite out of all I’ve watched thus far, including Goblin. This is not to say the show is without flaws. Its almost single-minded focus on the story of Man-wol and Chan-sung has some collateral damage, most notably in the form of a character’s loved one, an event used as a means to highlight the pain experienced by those left behind, anticipating the day when our main protagonists will be forced to part ways. In another case, a poignant encounter for Chan-sung is not properly fleshed out, perhaps intentionally so but it seems like a wasted opportunity. Additionally, the introduction and development of the secondary villain’s arc (Man-wol is both the love interest and the main antagonist) felt a little weak, but is still a functional plot device that leads to some of the show’s best scenes. Finally, there is also the way the Hong sisters handled the riddle of Chan-sung’s dreams, which I may address in a separate post because it has too many spoilers.

If you’re a fan of fantasy dramas like Goblin, there’s simply no reason for me not to recommend this show and, hopefully, I’ve given you a few to persuade you as to why this is such a standout drama and, to my mind, the Hong sisters’ best work to date. It’s even on r/KDRAMA’s banner as one of those must-watch shows. If you do decide to watch it, I advise you to pace yourself so you don’t have to say goodbye to Hotel del Luna’s wonderful family too soon.

[thankskenpenders]

Thoughts on Bad Guys?

So! I liked IDW’s Bad Guys miniseries a lot. I think the biggest compliment I can give it is that it made me actually kind of like Zavok as a character. I didn’t care about Zavok at all before. Now I kind of do! Wow.

More detailed thoughts with some spoilers below the read more:

I think the miniseries was overall really solid and I like what it adds to the growing IDW mythos, although I’m not sure whether or not I’d rank it ahead of the Tangle and Whisper miniseries or my favorite main series stories. I have some minor quibbles. Still a really fun read, and one you can’t skip if you’re an IDW Sonic fan, but I have some little complaints nonetheless

My main criticism is that it felt like the series relied very heavily on all of the characters spelling out their plans in their inner monologues. Especially in the first issue. I think the character work is really cool in this miniseries, but I think everything being constantly spelled out so bluntly does kind of dampen my enjoyment of that a little bit

But... I also get why this was done, and I’m not sure it could’ve been done any other way. At the end of the day, this is still a series for 8-year-olds. This was also pitched as a series that any Sonic fan could potentially pick up, even if you aren’t caught up on the IDW comics. As such, the cast needs to regularly remind the readers how they feel about each other and what they’re individually scheming, just so that the shifting allegiances and the tangled web of lies and the double crossing don’t become too difficult to follow

That being said, stuff like that only knocks the series from 5 stars down to 4 stars for me. It’s still a lot of fun, with great character work all around and a lot of creative setpiece moments that we just wouldn’t get out of the main series. Even if it’s still a kids’ cartoon, it’s entertaining to see a grimier part of the Sonic universe for a change, with a bunch of asshole villains as the stars and scenes like the maximum security prison break or Zavok trying to hunt down Starline in the last issue

Speaking of Zavok, like I said, he ended up being the surprise star of the miniseries for me. I always thought he was a really boring character, but Ian’s managed to bring out his more interesting side. The thing that got me about Zavok here is that he can be surprisingly earnest at times, especially in comparison to the rest of the IDW rogues gallery. His little 1 on 1 chat about Starline’s potential struck me as a standout moment of the arc. It feels like him dropping the tryhard villain act for a minute and just being real with Starline, but it’s also Zavok using his charisma to play Starline like a fiddle. That one moment is way more interesting than any villain speech about being a strong warrior or wanting to conquer the surface or what the fuck ever. I hope we see more of this Zavok in the future

And of course, Mimic being a total scumbag is a lot of fun, as are Rough and Tumble as the lovable goon duo. And checking in with Eggman and seeing that Starline was never quite as many steps ahead as he thought he was was a great touch, reminding us why Eggman is the main big bad of this universe even while all these new guys take the spotlight

I’m also curious to see where Starline goes from here. I personally think it’s great to have another ongoing villain competing with Eggman, but I’m also curious how exactly they plan on using him in the future. He seems kind of untouchable at the moment with his new abilities, his new base, and the fact that he survived his plan to betray the other bad guys without a scratch. He might be coming a bit close to having too many tools at his disposal, actually, and that’ll be a needle Ian and Evan will have to thread carefully if they don’t want him to come off as their pet villain. (I know some people already feel that way about him, but he hasn’t crossed that line for me.) But Starline is a character largely defined by his hubris, so it’s probably only a matter of time before he gets another reality check. You know, beyond the temporary setback if Sonic and Shadow kick his ass in the next issue of the main series

So yeah! It was a good time. Good job, Ian. Not a perfect arc, but one I’m really glad exists

[the-faces-and-voices-in-my-head]

You guys have been gloomy for a while now, so I thought it is a good time to share the chapter that I have just finished,

You can read the chapter here or on AO3

This is the 7th out of 8 chapters.

--------------------------------------------

Hange rested her tense body on the little sofa out of Levi's room; She wanted to remain close to him without disturbing his sleep. After he dried her hair and gave her something of her clothes to wear, he decided to sleep again; Hange touched the shirt she was wearing and smiled fondly, Levi kept some of her clothes without explaining his reason. He blushed furiously as if the fever came back again but Hange knew that this is how he looks whenever his real kind sweet personality was exposed. He wanted to keep something of her belongings for himself to soothe his longing broken heart. Hange whispered: I wish I knew about your feelings earlier Levi...I regret every day I passed struggling with my feelings towards you, hiding it so that they won't push you away...If only... -Hange! Hange raised her head towards the familiar voice: Yes Levi? The annoyed questioning voice asked: What the hell are you doing outside shitty glasses? She got up and stood at his door: I was going to sleep, Levi! -There is only one bed in my house. where did you plan to sleep when I am sleeping on it? -The sofa outside your room is good enough. -Tch! Levi moved further to the side of the bed leaving a good space for Hange and said in a soft yet commanding tone: Come... Hange blinked for a few seconds: Huh? -It is cold shitty glasses! do you want to fall sick too? Hange could not find a proper response since she was clearly surprised by the offer. -Do you want me to force you? I might be sick but I still can force your ass to the bed. Her ears twitched and her tail stood suddenly as Hange answered: You don't have to, I want you to rest, don't worry about me...I am not even cold, it is really warm now. Levi was the one who blinked in surprise this time: warm? late at night? Hange gave up since she knew Levi wouldn't sleep if she didn't. -Come closer, shitty glasses! and be careful with your tail... -Ah...yes...thanks Levi for taking care of my...tail... -You washed your teeth?  -Yes, I found the spare you told me about. -Good, now shut up and let's sleep. Despite the awkward situation, Hange was happy; shy, and embarrassed but happy especially when Levi tightened his embrace and rested his head on her chest. She could not resist ruffling his soft hair while listening to his peaceful breath and heartbeat... These extra sensitive senses were not that bad after all, they enabled her to feel him more than she ever could or hoped in the past. His intoxicating scent... His breath... His heartbeat... The touch and warmth of his skin... Her senses kept learning everything they could about Levi hungrily as if her brain decided to engrave him in her memory... Now she can sense him in many ways no matter how far he was. Her body familiarized itself with his fast that it startled Hange how much she enjoyed feeling Levi's presence. She looked at his sleeping innocent features and covered her face with the other free hand: Oh god...That's impossible!

The next morning was noisier than usual for Hange or maybe it was her sharp hearing that made it different. She opened her eyes and looked around for a minute then at Levi who was still sleeping deeply on her chest. She didn't have it in her to wake him up. Although she felt hotter than usual and needed a moment alone to regain control over her heightened senses, she could not interrupt this rare blissful scene so, she waited for Levi to wake up on his own while touching his forehead to see if he was still feverish. His eyes fluttered after the third time and said in a sleepy grumpy voice: I am still sleeping..stay still... Hange laughed and teased him: You have never been this lazy Levi! -Why should I leave the bed early If I am enjoying my time on it? Hange's eyes widened as soon as she heard Levi's surprising answer, she instantly touched his forehead again but she could not sense yesterday's fever. Did he just flirt with her when he was fully aware of what he said? Levi who looked as normal and indifferent as usual stayed in the same position for another half an hour until he let her go. Hange, on the other hand, was an increasingly hot mess of emotions, strange feelings, and heightened senses. It was beyond her ability to comprehend what the reason was for these sudden intense changes. When she went to the bathroom and locked the door, it was her first time to be alone. She needed to sort out her feelings after the last two eventful nights; she never expected to worry about such weird ideas and feelings at the moment instead of worrying about understanding what she became better and how she should live from now on. All her thoughts were about Levi. She felt as if every cell in her body calling him. Longing for his touch. Hungry for his presence and warmth. She can feel it stronger than any time in the past, she can barely control herself around him now. Once again she covered her face and whispered: keep your shit together Hange, he is your boyfriend now but, show some dignity and discipline for god's sake. Hange got up and looked at her reflection in the small mirror and said: You are still a soldier Hange Zoe...You can do it...You must do it or you would never be able to face Levi ever again if you let your feelings out in the open. -Oi! shitty glasses! Levi's strong voice showed that he has regained his energy fully but more importantly it startled Hange wand made her step with all her weight on the new sensitive part of her body. -Meeeeeeeeeeoooooooooow She could not hold the weird cat-like scream that startled her even more as she noticed it while Levi banging on the door: Oi! Hange! what happened? She managed to open the door holding her tail like a guilty child with teary eyes: I stepped on it again... Levi's eyes reflected a clear desire to soothe her mixed with a sincere effort not to smile at the innocent unusual expression on Hange's face. -Hold it carefully and sit there, I will be back. still, in pain, Hange asked: where are you going, Levi? Levi didn't answer her, instead, he brought a towel soaked in cold water and kneeled in front of her: where does it hurt? Hange took a deep breath trying to remain in control: the end of it... Levi caught it with obvious care and wrapped the hurt part with the cold towel while muttering: I think it is not different from bruised flesh, it will ease the pain at least. He looked at Hange and scolded her: I told you to be careful with it and pay attention to your new condition, didn't I?  Hange nodded quietly agreeing with him. Levi sighed: Fine...Stay here, I will go prepare the breakfast. -Are you feeling better? -Yes, worry about your tail before I hang you from it. Hange screamed: That's cruel Levi! His voice came from the kitchen: Then stay where you are and stop hurting yourself shitty glasses. Not so far from her, A familiar notebook lied on the small table. -Levi? -What? -Did you read my notebook? There was short silence then Levi's answer followed: We read it together shitty glasses...You were the one who brought it in the first place. A quick distorted memory came to her suddenly. Her animal form seeing Moblit's face then Levi's face in her lab. She smiled to herself: I guess some things never change.

Levi was happy! He didn't even try to deny his feelings this time. Although words were never his strong point, he made sure to make up for it with actions, the sweetest, most caring, and warmest ones. He noticed the strong cat-like tendencies that Hange showed. A rare smile made its way to his face as he remembers what happened in the last two days. Hange gave him unmatched happiness that he hasn't felt for so long whether, in her animal form or the current one, she brought a very old side of him that was buried with his mother's corpse. The excitement he felt to learn more about Hange. The motivation to support her and help her to understand herself better. The sheer joy of having her beside him. If only he was good with words... He would have told Hange what she meant to him...but actions are not bad too. He looked at the grand feast he prepared for Hange and started taking the plates to the table where she was sitting. He almost dropped the plates when he saw Hange. -What the hell do you think you are doing shitty glasses? Hange answered him immediately: It is too warm now, I feel hot so I took off the sweater. Her attractive slim body looked even more feminine in the light shirt with the first 3 buttons opened revealing an even more beautiful sight. Levi clenched his fists trying to control himself: at least button your shirt shitty glasses, it is not that hot! Levi went back to the kitchen to bring the rest of the meal. He muttered angrily: Damn it shitty glasses! you make it harder for me to control myself. He took a moment to regain his indifferent expression: Be patient Levi! Don't scare her...I bet she doesn't even expect you to think about this stuff.

Meanwhile, Hange was keeping herself busy by reading her notebook. She was distracting herself from sensing Levi more. She wanted to remember how she turned herself into how she is now. She was reading the dates and entries until she noticed after doing some math that it was February! She knew what February means to a cat... Hange understood the reason why she can barely remain in control around Levi... It was natural! Levi is her chosen mate, he has always been and will always be. Her newly expressed feelings made her more emotional. Her cat-like nature added more to the chaos she felt. It is the mating season for a big part of her and both of her mind and body were set on one man but the real question here is, will she ever find the courage to do it?

-Oi! Levi's call brought Hange back to reality: Breakfast is ready!  The food smelled great, she remembered that she didn't have a decent meal for a long time. Her sharp senses made it more difficult to resist the tasty dishes.

-Levi? Are you in there? -Levi...Are you alright? Levi and Hange knew the voices instantly! They exchanged a brief terrified look then Levi grabbed a small pie and pushed it in Hange's mouth: Go hide in the bedroom. -Baa Ia shtih hungwy -I don't understand and don't talk with your mouth full, it is fucking disgusting. Levi pushed her into his bedroom and closed the door before he went to answer the two men who were calling his name for the last 2 minutes. -It is too damn early for this noise...What do you want? Mike looked sincerely happy seeing Levi being his usual self: we missed you, little man! Erwin confirmed with his usual elegant friendly smile: What happened, Levi? I thought you were taking the last two days off but your squad said that they don't where you were as well. Levi was touched by his friends' concern but losing his first normal breakfast with Hange as a boyfriend and girlfriend was hard to overcome.

He no longer could resist the guilt so he gave in: Come in... Erwin and Mike came inside as soon as Levi opened the door wider allowing them inside. -What a glorious feast Levi! were you hosting guests? Levi swallowed his grudge slowly and answered: I was sick, I had a high fever and needed to rest longer than I expected. Levi answered Erwin's question hoping that he will drop it but Mike took over: but that doesn't explain why did you prepare that much food, Levi! -Because I am fucking starving Mike! I haven't eaten a decent meal for days! Mike gave him his sweetest smile: Can I have some? Levi struggled to contain his disappointment... He planned to share the food he put his heart and love in with his loved one not with two giant men. Not with the two who destroyed his first date to be more specific. -stuff your face, I won't stop you... -Thanks, Levi Erwin's voice followed Mike's asking for Levi's permission as he was taking a seat at the table already: Do you mind if I join Mike, Levi? Levi needed another moment to overcome his anger: Go ahead eyebrows. The two of them started devouring the breakfast, they kept admiring how each dish tasted while Levi was watching them fuming silently. Erwin swallowed the big bite from his pie and asked Levi: come on Levi, join us! it is your food and your house after all. Another silent angry look. Levi blurted out the question he held for a few minutes: why did you even come both of you? -We were worried Levi, we came to check on you! -I am fine, the fever is gone and I will go to work tomorrow as usual. Erwin nodded happily: this is great Levi! -So you know now I am fine, what else do you want? Mike answered innocently: your company, little man...we missed you. -Don't you have damn work to do? -We took the day off, we have been working for the last 3 weeks without any breaks and we decided to spend the whole day with you. Erwin nodded in agreement while he was still chewing his food elegantly and quietly. Levi was about to give another comeback but a weird noise interrupted their conversation. Erwin was the first one to speak: it came from your room, Levi! Mike acted faster than both of them when he opened Levi's bedroom door with a tense face

[robininthelabyrinth]

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, past 5, part 6 - aka Pastime (with good company) (ao3 link)

Warning: some adult content 

-

Everything was settled.

The marriage date had been set – sadly there was still some time to go, since they’d reached that part of the year where there weren’t any auspicious days for marriage for a while, especially for a marriage like this (they were not getting married on a day that was auspicious for childbirth, no matter how much Wei Wuxian cackled at the thought) – and now all that was left was preparing for the ceremony.

The logistics were a pain, but all parties involved had been determined to hold a single ceremony, both to demonstrate that they were both first, neither above the other, and, as Wei Wuxian had grumblingly put it, to make sure no one was satisfied until they were all satisfied.

The negotiations had gone on forever, representatives of each sect bickering back and forth, but finally, finally, Lan Xichen had conspired with Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng behind the scenes and they’d exercised their authority as Sect Leaders to declare the latest version of the marriage plan acceptable.

There was a distinct possibility that they had gotten somewhat intoxicated before making the announcement, but however it had happened, it been made and Lan Wangji was happier for it.

Now, there was only – the wait.

Each of them had agreed that now that the marriage was settled, they would each stay at home to prepare the necessary things for marriage. Technically, only Nie Mingjue needed to pay the bride price, and of course their families would be providing dowries (with lists so long that Lan Wangji grew numb just thinking about it), but they had agreed between the three of them that it would be suitable for them to exchange gifts between themselves.

A sign of their forthcoming affection, but also – and this was Nie Mingjue’s rare insistence on the subject of gifts or etiquette – independence. Nie Mingjue was the husband, of course, and they the brides, and that meant something, even if cultivator sects rarely imposed the sort of requirements on its female cultivators that the common world did, but in his heart Nie Mingjue was a fairly staunch an opponent of unnecessary hierarchy when in peacetime, though whether this was his own inclination or another of the Nie sect’s oddities was less clear. Politically, he was engaged in a fierce fight with the Jin sect, opposed the mere concept of a Chief Cultivator and preferring that the Sects manage themselves as they always had rather than succumb to the order the Wen sect had tried to impose, but his opposition was – as always with the man – genuine, and it was important to him that his brides knew that they were free in their own right, rather than receiving their freedom as a gift from their husband.

(Lan Wangji had thought of their mother when Nie Mingjue had argued the point, his eyes flashing and hand hitting the table to emphasize it, and his heart had overflowed with joy that he was marrying this man above others, this man and Wei Wuxian who did not know rules, both of whom would rather die than cage him; Lan Xichen and even Lan Qiren had been moved by the demand, their eyes suspiciously wet, and Lan Wangji had seen in the way Jiang Cheng rubbed his thumb over Zidian that he, too, was not unaffected.)

Of course, once the principle was agreed upon, they now had to enact it.

Lan Wangji expected that Nie Mingjue would have delegated the initial task of finding gifts for them to Nie Huaisang, reserving the right for a final decision for himself – if it was a Nie sect principle, there might be some element of ritual involved in the unusual gift-giving, some tradition that wouldn’t make sense or be explained until they were safely married in; Qinghe had long had a reputation for being a little bit different from the other sects, and not just in their preference for the saber over the sword.

Wei Wuxian, on the other hand – Lan Wangji expected he was equally hard at work. Perhaps others in his sect believed that he would ask Jiang Cheng for one of the Jiang sect’s treasures, diminished by war but recovered in their victories, but Lan Wangji thought he knew Wei Wuxian better than that: most likely, he had just decided to use the time before the marriage to invent something no one in the world has ever seen before, and contribute that instead.

That seemed far more his style.

As for himself, Lan Wangji followed his own sect’s traditions, taking on the new request with the dignity and solemnity with which it ought to be respected. He had already spent several days in the Lan sect’s treasure room, sorting through each item and considering whether it would fit one or another of his spouses. His uncle, not yet fully reconciled with his decision – his general approval of Nie Mingjue wrestling against his general disapproval of Wei Wuxian – had come to see him several times while he was there; he would never disagree with Lan Xichen on such a serious matter as someone’s life, and never publicly, but his love for his nephew and his concern for Lan Wangji’s well-being drove him to probe repeatedly as to whether Lan Wangji really thought that this marriage would make him happy.

Lan Wangji was very sure it would. He’d only liked two people in his entire life and thought them both untouchable, forever beyond his reach – to now be faced with the possibility of having them both was beyond even his wildest dreams.

…perhaps not his wildest dreams. He’d been having some very interesting ones recently.

At any rate, it was a wise decision on their part to separate, and to stay separate. After all, they would have their whole lives to spend together – it was better to take this precious time before their marriage to reflect on their families, their past, the events and circumstances that had led them to this moment…

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian called, his eyes bright with excitement as he waved and ran forward to greet him. “What a surprise! I wasn’t expecting to see you – what brings you to Yiling?”

Absolutely nothing, in truth.  

There was no reason at all for Lan Wangji to be in Yiling.

He should not be in Yiling: he thought of himself as the patient one of the three of them, suffused with Lan serenity and self-denial, having cultivated long ago the ability to wait forever for what he wanted – none of Wei Wuxian’s impulsiveness or Nie Mingjue’s hot-headedness for him. And yet, of the three of them, Lan Wangji was the one who weakened first.

It was only that he had woken up in the dead of night, alone in the jingshi and abruptly convinced that it was all a dream that had lingered too long, that it would disappear with the morning dew, and he had suddenly needed, urgently, to see one of his future husbands, to confirm to himself once again that this was really happening. And before he knew what he was doing, he had taken Bichen and turned his face to the sky, fleeing to Yiling as the closer and least-bad option –  

At least Wei Wuxian seemed to feel the same way, to judge by the way he insisted on dragging Lan Wangji to and fro throughout the Burial Mounds, reintroducing him to all the Wen sect members that he’d already met on his first visit; only things time, Wei Wuxian would stop to speak to each one with a smile, explaining the situation – just now he had greeted a man with a wave and shouted, “Fourth Uncle, this is Hanguang-jun, Lan Wangji. We’re going to be marrying soon, to Chifeng-zun – all of us together, me, Lan Zhan, and Nie Mingjue.”

“Yes, we know,” the man said, looking indulgent. “You’ve mentioned it a few times.”

To judge from his expression, it was more than a few times.

“You remember them, right?” Wei Wuxian barreled on, utterly undaunted. “Lan Zhan’s been here twice before, and Nie Mingjue is the tall gorgeous one. Not that Lan Zhan isn’t tall and gorgeous – wait. Am I the short one in this relationship?!”

Wei Wuxian was two centimeters shorter than Lan Wangji, who was in turn shorter than Nie Mingjue (who he was sure routinely lied about his height in some misguided attempt to pretend he wasn’t quite as toweringly tall as he was); Wei Wuxian was, in fact, the short one, albeit only by a little.

Lan Wangji exercised his judgment and decided not to comment, offering up only a neutral hum when Wei Wuxian looked at him, aggravated.

“It’s good you’ve got a smart one in your marriage, Wei-gongzi,” the man said, chuckling. “Good at spotting and avoiding traps.”

“Traps..? – hey! Are you saying I’m not the smart one? Lan Zhan, tell him -!”

Lan Wangji hummed again, more to make Wei Wuxian laugh than anything else.

At some point, they settled down in the Demon-Slaughtering Cave, Wei Wuxian running around to fetch tea and some snacks; it was getting to be late in the evening, the journey to Yiling and all the introductions having eaten up most of the day, but tea was always welcome.

After a few moments, Lan Wangji realized that no one else was there – not Wen Ning, nor Wen Qing, nor anyone else – and he frowned. “Is this appropriate?”

“Sure it is,” Wei Wuxian said at once, his response coming a little too fast to be anything other than planned ahead of time. “Obviously it would be inappropriate for either of us to be alone with Nie Mingjue, being as he’s our future husband; we would require a chaperone. However, although we will also be marrying each other, we’re both marrying in as brides, and there’s never been any restriction on brides sharing each other’s company before the wedding.”

Lan Wangji gave him an unimpressed look. “Semantics.”

“Very useful semantics,” Wei Wuxian protested, and pushed one of the snacks – a little radish cake, by the look of it – towards him. “Come on, I want to talk with you, discuss some questions about our marriage, and to do it without being gawked at by one of the Wens. Are you really going to insist that I call one of them in here?”

He would probably call Wen Ning if he called anyone, Lan Wangji thought, and felt a spark of jealousy in his belly. Which was ridiculous, he was the one who was marrying Wei Wuxian, and getting Nie Mingjue in the bargain as well; there was no reason to be drinking vinegar at the thought of Wen Ning. Even if he was the one that Wei Wuxian had defied the cultivation world for, resurrected from the dead at great cost, kept by his side at all times –

“…no,” he finally said, and Wei Wuxian’s smile was brilliant enough for him to almost forget about his not-quite-righteous motives in agreeing to waive propriety. “You had questions?”

“Sure! I mean, how is it going to work? Do we split having him on even and odd days, or do we have just one really big bed –”

Lan Wangji’s ears were burning; he had somehow not expected that the questions would be of this type. He pinned his gaze firmly across the room. “The Unclean Realm is large,” he said. “We will each have quarters of our own.”

“Well, yes, of course. Everyone gets their own courtyard; I was there at the marriage negotiations too, you know. But in terms of the details –”

“Mingjue-xiong is the husband. He will decide.”

“He might be the husband, but it’s not as if we’re not men ourselves,” Wei Wuxian argued. “I may not know that much about being a cutsleeve – Jiang Cheng only managed to find me one spring book in all this time, apparently he’s encountering some awkwardness about buying them – but I have a vivid imagination and plenty of yang energy; I’m not going to wait around in my courtyard to see if he wants to visit or not.”

Of course he wouldn’t. Why would anyone have expected that he would? Why had Lan Wangji ever expected that this conversation wouldn’t leave him simultaneously turned on beyond all belief and also wanting to die of sheer awkwardness?

“I can lend you one, if you wish,” he said, still staring firmly at the wall.

“Lend me one – oh, Lan Zhan! You mean a spring book? For cutsleeves? You have one?”

Lan Wangji had more than one.

His brother had figured out years ago what his inclination was, and anyway the Lan sect prided itself on preservation of information; there had been cutsleeves among the Lan in the past, and they had donated their books to the library upon their deaths the way everyone else had. With Lan Xichen’s help, it hadn’t been too difficult to smuggle some of them back to his quarters to review once he’d realized that his spring dreams were not going to go away without external assistance.

(In the end, the information had only made his dreams more vivid and detailed, but at least he learned enough to be able to stop shamefully smuggling in extra robes every day and taking on additional chores to account for overusing the sect’s laundry.)

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, you have to tell me everything,” Wei Wuxian said, leaning forward, his eyes bright with mischief – mischief, and something just a little bit more. Before, Lan Wangji would have told himself that he was imagining things, but for the first time he thought that he could hope that he wasn’t, that Wei Wuxian wanted him, wanted him as much as Lan Wangji wanted him in turn. “You have to take pity on me; I’ve never even kissed anyone!”

That got Lan Wangji to stop staring at the wall and to turn to stare at Wei Wuxian instead.

Wei Wuxian, the accomplished and even notorious flirt, as he’d seen with his own eyes in their time in the indoctrination camp; who had told him on Phoenix Mountain that he had lots of experience kissing –

“But you said –” he started, then stopped, pressing his lips together when Wei Wuxian started laughing.

“At Phoenix Mountain? You believed me?” Wei Wuxian said with a smile, his eyes curving into crescents. “No, I was just trying to save face. What was I supposed to say? I would have been embarrassed to admit it! Though actually, even though I’ve never kissed anyone myself, I did lose my first kiss right around that time; someone came up to me while I was blindfolded –”

Lan Wangji’s shoulders went up around his ears. “Wei Ying.”

“– the maiden was very forceful, but at the same time very shy, since she waited until I was blindfolded –”

“Wei Ying.”

“– she was so aggressive! Even managed to slip me a bit of tongue –”

“Wei Ying.”

“What? Don’t tell me you’re jealous, Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian looked delighted at the thought. “Now, now, fair’s fair, I’ve told you, now you have to tell me – have you ever been kissed?”

“…kissed. Once.”

“Oh, you did the kissing?” And now Wei Wuxian’s eyes were narrow, but playfully so – at least, Lan Wangji thought it was playful. Maybe Wei Wuxian was drinking a little vinegar, too. “You don’t mean a childhood kiss, do you? No? A real one, then; that puts you one up on me. When was it?”

Lan Wangji wanted the ground to swallow him up, but – it was no longer a matter that needed to be hidden lest Wei Wuxian hate him forever, a hopeless infatuation that could go nowhere and would be taken to the grave eternally unrequited. They were going to be married.

You could not start a marriage on a lie.

“…Phoenix Mountain.”

“What, really? Huh, that’s a coincidence! You kissed someone right around the time that –” Wei Wuxian paused, and Lan Wangji braced himself. “Lan Zhan. You didn’t.”

Wei Wuxian didn’t sound angry.

Lan Wangji snuck a peak at him – he didn’t look angry, either. He looked delighted.

“You know, Lan Zhan, that was very bad of you,” Wei Wuxian said, pretending to scold but grinning far too wide for it to sound authentic. “You took my first kiss, which I’d been guarding for twenty years! You have no choice but to take responsibility.”

“Mm,” Lan Wangji said, feeling a wave of relief. “Wei Ying is right. Would marriage be sufficient recompense?”

“Now that’s more like it,” Wei Wuxian cackled. “Your first kiss, and mine, and soon we’ll be married…hey, Lan Zhan! We should do it again.”

Lan Wangji’s heart skipped a beat. “What?”

“Kissing! After all, we wouldn’t want to disappoint Nie Mingjue on our wedding night – we should practice.”

“Practice…kissing.”

“We’re just the brides,” Wei Wuxian reminded him, and suddenly he was closer than Lan Wangji had expected; he was pressed right up against Lan Wangji’s side, and every part of them that was in contact felt as if it was on fire, even though there were layers and layers of cloth between them. “Our job in our marriage is to please our husband, since we’re not exactly going to be bearing him heirs. It’s no harm then, is it, trying to study up in advance on the sorts of things that will please him – that’s why I want to read those spring books you have, Lan Zhan. I want to think about all the things we could do together.”

Lan Wangji’s mouth was dry, and Wei Wuxian’s face filled his eyes.

“But I have to admit, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said. “I also – just really want to kiss you.”

Lan Wangji leaned over and pressed his lips to Wei Wuxian’s.

It was better than Phoenix Mountain, when he’d been too aggressive, almost wild in his frenzied need to express himself and yet so new at what he was doing to figure out at first how their mouths would fit together; this time, with the little experience from before, their mouths slotted together naturally, and best of all, this time Wei Wuxian wasn’t just shocked and stiff with surprise in his arms; this time, Wei Wuxian was kissing him back.

Fiercely, even; his hands sliding up into Lan Wangji’s hair as they kissed frantically, Lan Wangji’s own hands on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder and waist.

“Oh, Lan Zhan –” Lan Wangji heard Wei Wuxian groan his name against his lips, voice low and deep, and he was drunk on the sheer joy of it. “Lan Zhan –”

They tumbled down to the ground, Wei Wuxian pulling as much as Lan Wangji pushed, and Lan Wangji was straddling him, the two of them hot up against each other as they kissed again and again – lips and cheeks, faces, necks, wherever they could reach. Lan Wangji had had dreams like this, but nothing was compared to the reality: Wei Wuxian was warm in his arms, vocal with his pleasure, full of little whimpers and moans and his name, rolling around his mouth like fine wine; his legs inched up Lan Wangji’s thighs, urging him onwards even as his hands started exploring his shoulders and giving little tentative tugs of his hair that only made Lan Wangji less restrained because of how unexpected it was.

“Wei Ying…” he growled, applying his teeth to Wei Wuxian’s neck and rumbling with delight when Wei Wuxian threw back his head with a surprise moan of pleasure.

“Lan Zhan, oh, yes – is that how you’d do it for Nie Mingjue, Lan Zhan? I bet it is, I bet you’d love to put your teeth in his neck and mark it up – ah! Yes, like that, more – ”

They had long ago left propriety behind, but they were very quickly getting to the point of being truly inappropriate; the thought was fuzzy in Lan Wangji’s mind, seeming very unimportant – they were getting married soon, after all, and that would be even better than this, because Nie Mingjue would be there, his intense gaze on them both, his hands on them –

“We should stop,” he forced himself to say.

“We will,” Wei Wuxian said, tugging him down for another kiss, his hips arching and rubbing up against Lan Wangji’s. “We will, Lan Zhan, just a little more –”

Much more and Lan Wangji would very quickly be lost, violating his oaths of restraint before marriage; he was very near to the edge as it was.

“We can’t, we have to wait until marriage,” he murmured even as he sucked kisses and left teeth marks on Wei Wuxian’s collarbone. “But we can do something else…”

The Lan sect prided itself on a strict adherence to the rules, on obeying the spirit of the rule and not merely the letter, but there had been since long ago a very particular loophole regarding the rules of restraint – an acknowledgment of reality, really, of the fact that the blood of young men and women ran hot, and that it would be cruel to make a rule that so many would find themselves unwittingly breaking.

Sharing physical pleasure with another before marriage was of course absolutely inappropriate – when it was a man and a woman involved, rather than two men, it came with the loss of chastity, the risk of pregnancy, the ruination of all future hopes; it was reasonable to restrict those who had not yet bowed three times to, at most, touching each only with clothing fully in place.  

If they were not cultivators, that would be the end of it – but they were, and there were more routes to pleasure than the mere physical.

After all, the act of joining together yin and yang was not called dual cultivation for nothing.

Lan Wangji summoned up the qi from his golden core, allowing it to circulate through his meridians as if he were planning to cultivate, and dropped his hand eagerly between their bodies to Wei Wuxian’s dantian, where Wei Wuxian’s own cultivation, his golden core, would respond to his own, their cultivation reacting to each other as a stimulus, sparking pleasure even as they grew stronger. He’d never experienced it before, but he’d heard whispers of how it felt, a rush that was so good that it was nearly addictive and yet soothing as well, a relaxing of the terrible tension, allowing their bodies the peak of pleasure without the physicality of release that was denied to them.

Lan Wangji put his hand on Wei Wuxian’s belly and felt Wei Wuxian groan, his hips arch –

He felt –

Nothing.

[fullsuuns]

ghost of you - l.dh

PAIRING: donghyuck x reader

GENRE: angst

WORD COUNT: 1.6k

WARNINGS: character death (reader is a ghost in this), mentions of alcohol

NOTE: i am not encouraging anyone to use ouija boards or any other spiritual contacting methods without prior research and knowledge. this is only for fictional purposes.

SYPNOSIS: a year after your death, donghyuck uses an ouija board to communicate with you.

you watched as donghyuck, your exboyfriend, laid crystals on top of the small round wooden table that was placed on the floor of your apartment — or well, his apartment, because you no longer shared this space with him. there were various crystals, each different shapes and colors and each representing different things. you recall the faint memory of when you told him about what each crystal meant, what each one represented.

curiously, you eyes drift over his movements as he sprawls them out in front of him. donghyuck had never been into this kind of thing while the two of you dated, so you’re confused when he organizes them in a circular shape. next to him, jeno drops a black bag of equipment next to his feet before he, too, sits on the ground in favor of pulling out a rectangular board.

you’d seen these types of boards plenty of times during your living life — you’d even warned donghyuck of ouija boards, telling him they weren’t devices to be messed with as they were a viable way of communicating with things that weren’t on the same plain as humans. your eyes are widening now, and you rush to sit across from them, trying to stop donghyuck as your hands fly out before you.

“stop, please! no, no, donghyuck. hyuckie, stop, please.” your pleads are useless because he doesn’t hear you. he doesn’t feel your touch when you place both of your hands atop his in hopes that it would halt his actions. in fact, your palms just go right through him, reminding you that you weren’t a physical being anymore and that you could no longer physically reach him.

the board is placed on the table in front of you, and a panicked energy starts rising. next, the planchette is placed, and donghyuck fixes the crystals so that they frame around the board better. your eyes are wide, alarmed, as they scour his rushed actions. you try to stop his hands, hoping each time that he would finally feel you, feel your touch telling him to stop, because he didn’t know what he was getting himself into.

“are you sure you want to do this?” jeno asks. the raven’s tone is worried, hesitant — it’s evident in the way he looks at your boyfriend with attentive eyes. donghyuck nods — sighs.

after your death a year ago, you stuck to hanging around your shared apartment, watching as donghyuck went through several stages of grief before your eyes. he couldn’t see you, couldn’t feel you, but you could see everything he was going through and you knew there was nothing you could do but to watch from the sidelines as he slowly began to heal. it hurt; it hurt so much, even though you could no longer feel emotions — couldn’t feel happiness when you watched him walk through the front door after his daily part-time as a barista at the coffee shop you first met him at, couldn’t feel sadness when you heard him cry himself to sleep some nights, couldn’t feel anger when he would sometimes resort to alcohol to drown his sorrows.

he’s changed over time. he’s still the same donghyuck you fell in love with, but his hair is longer now, no longer brown bangs that lay across his forehead but rather bangs that frame it instead. he still wears the silver necklace you got him for your second anniversary, you can see it as it peeks out from under his shirt. you’ve lost the ability to smell since your death, but you know he still buys and wears the cologne you loved so much on him. things like these are subtle signs of how he hasn’t been able to move on from you. how badly you just wished you could end his pain; tell him that you were here all along, cheering him on when he didn’t have the best days.

“i just want to know it’s her.” he replies. your heart, though it stopped beating a long time ago, metaphorically shatters at his confession.

even with how badly you want to stop them, you know there’s nothing you can do but watch as they both place their fingers on the planchette. donghyuck takes a deep breath to center himself, closing his eyes as his eyelashes fan out against the tops of his cheeks.

you can see his fingers barely brushing against the piece. he speaks, his tone commanding through the otherwise silent apartment complex, “if there is a spirit in our presence, make yourself known. guide us with your answers.”

hesitatingly, you reach your hand out. countless months you’ve spent trying to make donghyuck see that you were here, feel that you were here with him. you’ve done things from leaving the previously-shut cabinet doors open for him to see in the morning to spraying a bit of your old perfume that he still kept on his dresser; small and simple actions like that oftentimes left your energy drained, so they were things you could never do too often.

now, you were finally being given the opportunity to communicate with him openly, and you’d have to be dumb to deny something like this — even if living you would have smacked him for bringing this thing out in the first place.

you place your fingers on the planchette, very slowly but surely guiding it to the sun at the top of the board. because he hadn’t asked a yes or no question, this was the only answer you could give him right now.

he looks at jeno from the corner of his eye. “are you moving it?” he asks him. the question almost makes you want to smirk, simply because you knew your boyfriend had always been a skeptic. you’d told him countless times during your relationship that there were beings beyond the human realm — and donghyuck would only nod distractedly, laughing when you smacked him for not listening. the memory makes a smile tug at your lips. of course he was still the same.

jeno shakes his head, and donghyuck lets out an unsteady breath before he asks his next question. “are you a good spirit or bad spirit?”

you almost want to scold donghyuck for not asking simple questions. this wasn’t an question you could answer with a yes or no, so you slowly circle the planchette until it comes back around towards the sun. sun meant favorable.

donghyuck looks towards jeno for a moment. though their fingers never leave the planchette, you can see the two stare at each other for a moment before their gazes settle back on the board. this time, jeno asks a question.

“can you spell out your name?”

the planchette moves again. it takes more power, but you manage to move the singular piece to spell out your name in its entirety. they don’t seem to mind the incredibly slow speed as they repeat each letter back to themselves.

“y/n.” your boyfriend repeats once you spell it out. his voice is soft as he speaks, “i knew it was you, baby. are...are you okay? are you safe?”

you would have giggled at his words had you missed the way his eyes started to well up. he’s leaning forward now, more intrigued as he awaits your answer. jeno is silent next to him, but you’re grateful they’re doing this together. there could’ve been an instance that it wouldn’t actually be you in front of them right now, but rather a different kind of spirit.

your energy has slowly decreased now — you can feel it begin to wither as you start feeling heavier. still, you move the piece towards yes.

“okay, okay. i’m glad you’re safe, baby.” his voice sounds relieved, more of a happy whisper towards himself.

before he asks another question, you move the planchette with the little energy you have left. their eyes drink in the movement attentively as you brush the piece across the board towards several different letters. once again, they repeat them aloud. tired.

“oh, you’re tired. okay, that’s fine, y/n. we can talk later if you’d li-” you cut him off with the planchette just before he can end your session. your movements are more hurried now, desperation in every sweep as you realize you have to abbreviate your words for the sake of your being. they once again read each letter in unison. ily. imy.

he looks worried, voice mirroring his expression as he speaks, “i - i miss you too, y/n, and i love you. we can talk another time, i promise. i’ll end this now, for your sake - but i love you.” the idea that he’s worried for you makes you smile sadly, even if you feel no emotion behind it. with struggle, you push the planchette towards goodbye, officially ending your session.

you take your fingers off the piece and instantly, the energy that you’d drained quickly seeps back into you. you watch as jeno flips the board over. donghyuck gathers the crystals in his hands, handing them over to jeno so he can place them back into his bag.

they’re silent for a moment. a single tear runs down donghyuck’s cheek as he bites his lip, and you want nothing more than to wipe it away and reassure him that you’re still here. still here with him, even if he can’t see you.

jeno’s voice is cautious, “are you okay?”

donghyuck collects himself at the question, wiping at his cheek as he smiles down tearily at the now flipped board. he lets out a wet laugh. “i - yeah. yeah, i’m okay. i’m just - i’m just glad she’s okay.”

[mysanderssidessideblog]

A Good Day

Warnings for Sides fading out, major character death, unsympathetic Patton, angst, gaslighting, not a happy ending.  

Written for #UnsympAndAngstSidesBingo

Link to AO3

“I'm very disappointed in you kiddo.”

Janus looked up from his book, frowning.

True, he knew his occasional appearance in the Lightside was not exactly welcome, but he had been slowly trying to help the others acclimatise to his presence by sitting quietly with a book from time to time.

He'd even carefully set out a tea set and biscuits this time, rather than his usual tea for one, making a subtle gesture that he was open to company. So far, none had taken him up on the offer.

Yet, he could not fathom source of Patton's discontent. He was <i>trying</i>, and short of dragging Virgil out by his ear to reluctantly sit with him, he was not sure what more he could do.

“Patton. Will you not join me?”  Janus had learnt that the use of the word 'not' had evolved to ambiguous meaning; 'I could care less' tended to be treated the same as 'I could not care less', even if the wording was inaccurate. As a result, he leaned heavily into the word to help mask his lies.

“No.”

Morality's face, usually lit up with a bright smile, was stern.

Janus pursed his lips, and feigned indifference. “As you like.”

“You had one job, and you have failed.”

That took him aback, Patton not usually so confrontational. lowering his book, Janus schooled his expression into neutrality, opting for addressing the accusation in a calm and civil manner. He inclined his head so that he appeared interested in what Patton had to say, while opening his stance to appear receiving to discussion.

“I am not sure I follow. Please, help me understand.”

“You were to keep the undesirable elements of Thomas hidden, secret. <i>You</i> were supposed to stay away, out of sight, out of mind.”

“Ah.”  Janus straightened, and clutched at his book, trying to hide the hurt from his voice. He had thought he and Patton had reached something of a truce, that Patton had seen that he had some merit in being known, in being active participant in the mindscape.

“I believe we agreed that repression was not of benefit. That I could keep things hidden, but it would be best for Thomas to be more self-aware, to learn that he had sides to him that were not always...”  Janus struggled for an appropriate word, “...good.” he finished lamely.

It was hard to argue with Morality; he held great power and influence, and his view of the world was parsed down into good and evil. Janus sought to teach him of the deeper complexities, but Patton was reluctant to even consider than lying could have small benefit in theory, so the idea of applying small untruths to day to day happenings was unthinkable to him.

“It is not working. Thomas is more stressed than ever with so many conflicting opinions, and then there is Remus! He is disgusting, and vile, and Thomas does not need him and his corrupting presence!”

 “And don't think I have not noticed Logan's more regular angry outbursts. The influence of the dark sides has gotten out of hand, and must be corrected.”

Janus was glad of his gloves that hid how white his knuckles had turned with how tightly he held the book.  He swallowed nervously.

“Patton, I understand that this is a time of change, and that change can be daunting, even uncomfortable. However, change is important for growth, for improved insight. This will help Thomas become a better person, eventually.”

“Thomas was already perfect before the dark sides came along! Things were better before!”

Patton's face then broke into a smile.

Janus did not like that smile, not in the slightest.

“Maybe that is answer.....”

He was about to get to his feet, about to retreat, when Patton walked towards him.

“You could not keep the dark contained.” he said, as the air around them grew dense. Janus felt uneasy, as Patton's eyes narrowed behind his glasses. “So I guess it's a father's duty to step in when a Kiddo has failed....”

Janus did try to get up then, but found himself held down by Patton by a hand upon his shoulder, surprisingly strong.

“You'll help me, won't you Kiddo? Help me fix up your little mistake...?”

“I don't understand Patton, what are you talking about?”

“You, and Remus, all the dark sides, are a bad influence on Thomas.”  Patton then stretched his lips  wider, his face a rictus parody of a smile, “It's high time someone did something about that....”

Janus shook his head. “Patton, you cannot just deny that Thomas has dark sides to him, same as everyone! We are just as much a part of him as you are!” he lifted his hand, tried to push Patton from him. He could not make Patton's hand budge at all.

“Thomas needs us. Needs all of us!”

Patton's grip shifted, instead of holding Janus down, curling his fingers past the fabric and into the flesh underneath, so tight Janus felt like Patton was reaching to leave fingerprints upon his bones.

“No. Thomas needs to be good.” Patton gave a short nod to himself. “Thomas will be good.”

Janus cried out, in pain, in fear.

“Let me go!”

“I can't do that Kiddo. See, if I'm gonna make everything right again, I'll need to borrow just a tiny bit of your power.”

“You can hide things, and I have high influence over nostalgia and memories. I think that if we really put our minds to it and work together, we can hide the memories of the dark sides so deep that they will never be thought of again!”

“Patton, Thomas needs all aspects of him. He needs to understand that others have the capacity to lie so he is not taken advantage of. He needs the ability to get angry when things are not right so he can sort it out.” “He even needs Remus, the core of his jokes that are a little crude, a little naughty....” “You cannot just.... delete those vital pieces of him; that way lies madness!”

“You are one to talk about lies mister!”

“OK, OK, I have lied, and will likely do so again, but you have been told that repression doesn't work... that didn't come from me, but Logan. And you trust Logan, right?”

Patton tipped his head, thoughtful.

“Hmm. Good point.”

Janus sagged slightly, relieved he had managed to get through to Morality.

“I guess we'll just have to remove the the dark sides entirely!” he said brightly.

Janus froze, unbelieving. If it had been anyone other than Patton, he'd have accused them of a off-tone joke..... but Patton wasn't lying.

“I will help you!” he snarled, shaking his head, the lie unsubtle and obvious.

Tutting, Patton looked down.

“If you are not part of the solution, then it seems to me you are part of the problem...”

Patton's hand clawed, and Janus felt something creak within his shoulder.

He felt Patton tug at his influence, and thrashed and fought to keep what he was whole. He hissed and bore his teeth as if he might bite.

The hand across his throat stilled him, surprised, shocked that Patton would do such a thing.

“Stop fighting me, I know what's best for Thomas.”

“I will not help you destroy the dark sides!”

Patton's grip, both on shoulder and throat tightened in irritation. Janus struggle to fight back, to even draw breath, but Morality held much more sway than he did, and he could not break free.

He struggled, cursing himself for dismissing Patton as native and weak. Janus knew he was merely stalling for time, that Patton would eventually win. There was a small hope that one of the others might happen upon them and intervene, but he was not well liked, and he did not trust that another side would not work with Patton against him.

Patton looked down over his glasses, considering, and Janus desperately tried to stop Patton from draining his power, his essence.

Patton's grip round his throat relaxed, and Janus drew desperate and painful breath.

It took him a moment to realise that Patton was stroking against the side of his neck, affectionately. “You have an affinity for self-preservation, yes? Give me your power, willingly, and I shall let you survive.”

His mismatched eyes widened as Janus took in how very serious and set on this course of action Patton was.

Terror gripped him as the fingers round his neck tightened again, and he feared for his life.

A better side would have stood up for what was right.

A stronger side would have fought harder.

A clever side would have found the words to make Patton reconsider.

But Janus was a selfish side.

Weakly, he nodded.

Janus tried to cry out as Patton syphoned his strength and his power, but he could only hiss which what remained of his breath. His gloves and cape leached their colour, turning dull and grey as Patton stole from him.

He did not hold out much hope that Patton would ever return what he had taken.

When it was done, Patton released Janus, standing tall and confident, radiating energy.

“You made the right choice. Well done kiddo.”

Janus, sagged in the chair, tired. He managed to bring his head up to look at Patton.  

“Patton, wait...” he managed to say, each word needing so much effort to utter than before, lie or not, “Please take a moment to think.. to reflect... You would be interfering beyond your realm of expertise. Do not do this!”

“Oh my silly little snake!” Patton leaned down to plant a fond kiss upon Janus's forehead.  “It's already done!”

“What? No!” Janus clutched at the chair, as if it might hold him steady against this new revelation.

“All those nasty bits that Thomas doesn't need are already disappearing from thought. If you wanted to say your goodbyes, I would hurry. They are fading fast.”

One thought came to mind.

“Remusssss!”  he hissed, and with a lurch, Janus swung himself downwards, sinking through the floor.

He landed in a landscape in disarray, the features of the darkside twisting and fragmenting, everything coming apart.

Remus was there, trying to shore up a crack in the wall with what looked like a mix of blood and cement.

“Snake-butt! Something's happening. Something's wrong!��� he hollered over the low groan of the mindscape rejecting the dark.

Janus looked about in despair, only to see Remus staring at him, the crack beyond repair and stretching out. Horrifically, Janus could see the crack behind Remus, as the darker creativity grew translucent and hazy.

  “My head feels fuzzy like mould on a birthday cake, and what's up with you? You've gone all grey.”

“It's Patton, he is not unmaking the dark side!”  even in desperate times, Janus could not speak truthfully.

“What does that even mean?!”

Remus's voice was strange, softer as if he was shouting from a distance, but that did not hide the fact that he was scared. Janus could not ever recall Remus sounding scared.

Janus looked to him, halfway transparent and afraid, and the surrounding walls crumbling apart.

 He forced a smile.

“Everything will be all right.” he lied, as he reached over and wrapped his arms round Remus, so the other would not see the tears in his eyes.

The sounds of unmaking crescendoed about them, and then, grew quiet.

Remus, and the darkside, and all that it contained faded to black... no, not black.....

Nothingness.

*********

Janus had had to claw his way back from the nothingness, drawing on what little power he had left.

He shouldn't have made it, should have faded out with the rest, but Morality's promise of his own unworthy survival held true.

The effort of returning to the lightside caused him to stumble, and he landed gracelessly in the common area.

Logan, writing down something in a note book, looked up. He gave curt nod.

“Janus.” he acknowledged, and then returned to his writing.

“Logan!” Janus hissed out, struggling to his feet.

Logan looked again, and adjusted his glasses at the sight of Janus bereft of his usual colouration.

“You have a new outfit. It is... monochromatic.”

“Do not summon the others. It's not important!”

Logan frowned, “If it is of such little import, then why can you not do it?”

Hands clenched weakly at his sides, Janus swayed where he stood.

“I can!” he lied, and then cursed himself for not speaking clearly as Logan stood back expectantly.

It did not take long for Logan to realise that Janus was making no move to call the others to them.

“Oh. You are lying.” Logan's lips tightened, “Very well.”

Roman rose with a flourish, and Virgil popped up sitting on the stairs.

“Patton has not done something terrible!” Janus started, then caught himself. He took a breath.

“Patton has done something terrible. He has destroyed the darkside, and all those still connected to it.”

Virgil frowned in thought, “I thought I felt something weird... ”

“Or it could have just been your usual constant worry of something about to go wrong.” Logan reminded, to which Virgil gave reluctant nod.

“Even if that were true, which I very much doubt it is coming from you, then why are you still here?” Roman asked, sceptical.

“I....” Janus swallowed his pride and spoke aloud his grievous mistake. “I made a deal with him to survive.”

“but he took my power, and used it to unmake the darkside!”

“Patton wouldn't do something like that.” Roman said confidently.

“Patton wouldn't do something like what?”

Janus pulled back as Patton approached, smiling cheerfully.

“Janus thinks you have done something bad.” Logan explained.

“Are you sure you didn't mishear him that I've done something 'Dad'?”

Janus snarled.

“You destroyed them, all the dark sides! Pieces of Thomas, ripped apart and gone!”

Patton laughed, “As if I would do anything to hurt dear Thomas!

Roman and Logan nodded with Patton, that of the two, Patton was far more trust-worthy than Deceit.

“Anyway, Thomas doesn't have dark sides, save for you....” Janus did not like the way Patton looked at him, as if he was nothing but another problem that needed 'fixing'. He shuddered.

Patton continued, “But don't worry, we'll all help you find your place and learn to be good! Just like Virgil!”

Virgil gave an uncomfortable shrug at being pointed out.

Janus turned to Roman, desperate, “Roman, your twin! He is... he is gone Roman!! Patton killed him!”

“My brother?” Roman frowned, and reached to the back of his head to rub against a fragment of a memory.

He looked to Patton for guidance, deeply confused.

“Don't be silly, you don't have a brother.”

Roman's hand dropped, and he shrugged at Janus. “I don't even have a brother. Don't speak such lies Snake!”

“You did! His name is... is... was.....”

Janus's eyes widened in horror, as he could not bring the name to mind.... nor the face....

 Patton had not just destroyed the dark sides, but he had erased even the memories of them. How could Janus convince them of Patton's misdeed, when he had cleared every scrap of evidence from the mindscape?

How long before Janus himself forgot what Patton had done?

He lunged then at Patton, furious. He was stopped by Logan's arm easily blocking him and pushing him to the side.

Patton folded his arms, face full of fake concern.

“I was merciful before, but I think you need a time out Janus. Go to your room. In fact, I think it would be for the best if you were to stay there for the time being, and stop telling such terrible lies.”

“Roman, be a dear and take Janus to his room for me.”

“Sure thing Pat!”

As Janus let himself be led away, disbelieved and defeated, and destined to forget what he was and be moulded into whatever Patton deemed acceptable form of Deceit, Janus heard Patton address the other sides.

“Oh Kiddos, I'm just so happy! I have a feeling today is going to be a <i>good</i> day!”

[salihas]

Introducing MISS SALIHA  AǦA , gossips whisper behind their hands that the DAUGHTER OF THE OTTOMAN AMBASSADOR can be CURIOUS, RESTLESS & SINCERE. But others speak more openly about how SHE brings to mind hands that struggle to be still unless captured by something - a book, a glass or even held in dance; dark eyes drifting towards windows, mind always drawn to what lies beyond rather than before her; the ability to speak countless foreign languages flawlessly yet still managing to trip over her words; & a well worn stack of maps that spend their time sprawled over the closest surfaces. 

Full Name: Saliha Mihrimah Aǧa Nickname(s): Sali, Liha Age: 28 Date of Birth: 27th November, 1784 Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius  Place of Birth: Constantinople  Place of Residence: London Occupation: n/a Language(s) Spoken: Ottoman Turkish, English, Persian, French, Arabic, Spanish

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Hair Color: Dark Brown Eye Color: Brown Height: 5′9 Build: slim

FAMILY

Father: UTP Aǧa, Ottoman Ambassador Mother: UTP Aǧa Siblings: Elif Aǧa & one more  Martial Status: single Spouse: n/a Children: n/a Other: n/a

PERSONALITY

Positive Traits: generous, idealistic, humorous, honest, adventurous, optimistic, independent, energetic, open minded, passionate, curious,  Negative Traits: flighty, tactless, naïve, unreliable, easily stressed, unpredictable, fluctuating self esteem, competitive, rebellious, restless,  Goals/Desires: she’s chasing freedom and a place to come home constantly, though she struggles to know which one she wants most. She wants to be seen, to be understood, maybe even loved, but those wants war against her perceived need for independence.  Fears: That she’ll be suck in the life she is currently living when she wants to feel fulfilled somehow. She also fears that she’ll never find the elusive thing that she is always reaching and grasping for when she had yet to work out exactly what her life feels like it’s missing. She can be quite claustrophobic too. Hobbies: usually she can be caught reading, mostly nonfiction when she enjoys learning about the world. If she is not socialising with a select few and exploring, she enjoys horse riding and archery. Also has a part time hobby of rejecting men if they get any ideas about getting close to her.

TESTS

Myers-Briggs:  ISFP-T Enneagram: Type 7 - The Enthusiast  Temperament: Sanguine

BIOGRAPHY

The eldest of three children it might have been expected that Saliha would take on a role of responsibility, caring about her siblings enough that it would impact her action. Instead she had always shunned any semblance of obligation, seeing it as more of a burden than anything else. She was far too much of a free and curious mind to allow herself to be weighted down by such things. In her early years a difficult relationship with her mother meant that more often than not she sought solace in the company of her father, his mercurial ways leading to mixed results. Some days he would be thrilled to see her head peer around his office door, warm smile on his features as he beckoned her in to discuss geography, history and philosophy. Whilst others his gaze would darken upon seeing her and the only greeting she got was a barked order to leave him be. Still, those days where it felt as though they had talked from sunrise to sunset ( sometimes even continuing long enough that the stars were their witness )  were vastly preferable to her than the stilted and strained relationship that she shared with her mother. It was neither of their faults really, they just lacked a fundamental understanding of one another. Saliha always curious, always challenging where her mother had always been content to accept things the way that they were. She opposed change where Saliha felt that she would always welcome it.

That seemed to be true until not long after her twelfth birthday her father was asked to take the position of Ottoman Ambassador in London, relocating the family when he accepted the role. Initially, when she had thought the move temporary, Saliha had embraced it with excitement. But after a few months had passed and she realised that the move was far more permanent than she had originally anticipated she began to long for home. Not the house that she had always felt out of place in when her parents seemed to take or leave her presence, but the people and the country that she loved so much. She had wanted to see the world but hadn’t know that it would come at such a cost, leaving her feeling like she had lost a part of herself. Her desire to return home ruled everything that she did, each choice she made weighed against what it would mean for her future. She muted herself, becoming closer to the English’s idea of the perfect lady in order to aid her father in making connections. Hoping that the more friends her family made the easier his role would be, paving the way for someone else to take over from him so they might go back to the place that she felt like she belonged.

When her first season came around she did everything she was supposed to, not quite making a splash but undoubtedly causing ripples of approval. From there her standing only grew and not only did she find herself making more acquaintances but even going as far as to form an attachment a few years in. She had never meant to find herself feeling so deeply towards Thomas Hyde-Parker but time with him almost made her forget her desire to return home. It was only when someone had teased her about a marriage between the two of them that she had started, it finally dawning on her that if she married an Englishman it would put an end to her dreams of home. Their bond was broken sharply as she resigned herself to her decision, it giving her enough of a wake up call that she couldn’t help but evaluate her time spent in London. After a years spent trying to craft herself into an Englishwoman, it became apparently to her that there was no move back to Constantinople in her future. Her father had become settled in his role and showed no signs of wishing to return. It didn’t take her long to realise that muffling her desires and opinions was making her miserable and so she began to take her knowledge of all the rules she was supposed to uphold and used it to bend them instead. 

THIS OR THAT

writing or reading? reading platonic or romantic love? platonic beach or mountains? beach introverted or extroverted? introverted sensible or imaginative? imaginative brave or foolhardy? foolhardy family or friends? friends sunrise or sunset? sunrise indoors or outdoors? outdoors night owl or early bird? night owl left handed or right handed? right handed sunlight or moonlight? sunlight song or dance? dance closed space or open space? open space alone or with company? alone water or land? land past or future? future noise or silence? noise truth or lies? truth but sometimes avoids it now or forever? now power or peace? power creativity or talent? creativity rest or play? play strength or intelligence? intelligence wealth or ambition? ambition freedom or safety? freedom faith or fearlessness? fearlessness hurt or be hurt? be hurt